


Valla University

by fairykaine



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Biphobia, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Takumi, College, College AU, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates AU, Gay, I Don't Even Know, I had this idea at 2 am, I'm Sorry, Ice Cream Parlors, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Modern AU, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Romance, Roommmates, Slow Burn, Takumi has anxiety disorder, The corrins are twins, ill add more tags later, implied prostitution, its super gay, undiagnosed mental illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairykaine/pseuds/fairykaine
Summary: Leo and Takumi never got along, not even in middle school. But when the two are put together as roommates, will they be able to put aside their differences, or will they find something much deeper than that and fall in love?Shenanigans, love, and a good time will be found at Valla University!





	1. New Roommate

**Author's Note:**

> Wowowowowooww. I have so many ideas but this is the story that i truly wamted to write! As for that being said, im gonna go ahead and keep To Each Their Own on haitus. But i do hope you enjoy this series!!!

The sun shone bright in the sky as Takumi hauled the last of his items back into the dorm hall. The leaves on the tall oak trees swayed with the slightest wind. The summer sun made Takumi feel happy and free, although he did hate the heat.

“Did you forget anything?” his brother, Ryoma said as he caught up to the silver haired sophomore. “The first day is only two days away. You wouldn’t want to walk into your class, only to have forgotten something from home.” 

Takumi sighed. “Yes, brother. I have everything, but I’ll go and double check the car to make sure before you go to help Sakura, okay?” 

Ryoma shook his head. “I still don’t know why you refused to come to the party. You were going to meet your roommate there!” 

The younger boy scoffed. “I’m not one for big parties, Ryoma. Besides. That damned Leo Astria would’ve been there. You know him and I don’t get along. What a damned prick…” 

Takumi could felt himself getting angry at the thought of Leo. The blond haired boy had gone to his middle school, so long ago. He was better than Takumi in everything- making friends, sports, and the one that irritated Takumi the most, academics.

While Takumi had to study to get the good grades, and even then got no recognition, Leo did absolutely nothing, just learning the material, taking the test, and being the first to turn it in. Seeing him walk up to the desk and put his paper there with a confident, know-it-all smile… thinking about it made Takumi angry all over again.

“Takumi, look out for the door!” 

Takumi snapped back to reality just in time to avoid running into the dorm hall’s closed door, and then sighed. 

“All this heat must be having an effect on you. How about you, me, Sakura and Hinoka go out for frozen yogurt after we all settle in?”

Takumi shook his head. “I’ll have to decline. Maybe I can do that as bonding with my roommate. But thanks for the offer.”

_ Not like it’ll matter whether I’m there or not _ ., Takumi thought to himself.

Ryoma opened the door to let Takumi pass. As the two boys walked into the dorm hall, they saw a boy with silver hair with a braid down his back, and he turned and smiled at the two. 

“Welcome. I’m Jakob, your resident assistant. If there’s anything you need, let me know. I’ll be happy to help. And you are?” 

Takumi set down his box and stretched out his hand. “My name is Takumi, and this is my older brother, Ryoma. Nice to meet you.”

Takumi didn’t know for sure, but he swore that Jakob scrunched up his nose at the sight of Takumi’s hand near his. Nevertheless, the white haired man stuck out his hand and shook Takumi’s rather briskly, then let it go. 

“Well, I’ll be settling in my room now. I’ll let you know if I need anything.” Takumi picked up his box again. “Thank you for the welcome.” 

“I believe your roommate is already here. What was his name….?” 

A boy! So Takumi wouldn’t have to room with a girl. It  _ was  _ a unisex dorm, after all, and Takumi was terrified of sharing a room with a girl. Girls confused him to no end. 

“It’s all right, I want it to be a surprise,” Takumi stated.

“You’re all good here?” Ryoma asked, smiling at his little brother. “If you are, then Hinoka and I are going to help Sakura move in. She’s only a freshman, and she’ll need a lot of assistance.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine here. I can double check the car before you drive it home to dad. Make sure you get yours instead of taking the train, okay?” 

“Of course, Takumi. Let me know when you find out who your roommate is, okay?” Ryoma pat his hair. 

“Sure. I can text you when I find out who.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you soon, Takumi.” Ryoma took his leave, turning around and walking out of Dragonfall Hall.

Takumi sighed again and fixed his hair into a bun. It was his second year at Valla University, but the jitters of meeting his roommate always remained. He always chose not to go to the “meet your roommate” party, instead preferring it to be a surprise. Last year, his roommate was a boy named Hinata, who was sociable, nut kind of dense. He was part of the fencing team and was outgoing. His messy hair and wild personality connected with Takumi’s own rebellious spirit, and they got along well.

Except for when Hinata was up late playing video games. 

Or when he was too loud.

Or when he left their dorm a huge mess.

Or even when he invited his girlfriend, Oboro over, and the two were making out on Hinata’s bed while Takumi was trying to study.

While Takumi found a lot of flaws with his last roommate, he enjoyed Hinata’s company. The brown haired boy was surprisingly good at physics, and he helped Takumi study for their Winter Exams. He passed with flying colors. 

Takumi still kept in touch with Hinata, they had hung out occasionally over summer break, but mostly, Takumi just kept in his bedroom, clacking away on his laptop, buying new textbooks and school supplies. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was reading or working his part time job at Sirasagi Cafe. His summer had been… Uneventful.

Pushing the thoughts out of his head, the went down to his assigned room, 210, and opened the door. He saw a blond haired boy with his back turned, wearing a tank top and jeans, as well as high tops,  setting a lamp on one of the two desks that were in the room. 

The room was set up with one bed on the left side and one bed on the right. In front of the beds were closets and desks, and plenty of room to.make their side their own.

Takumi set his stuff down on the only bed left, the right bed, went up behind the boy, and lightly tapped his shoulder. “Hi, I’m Takumi Fujisaki. Nice to meet you.”

And when the boy turned around, Takumi swore that his heart stopped.

The boy was Leo. Leo Astria. The boy who had attended middle school with him so long ago.

And he was Takumi’s roommate. For the  _ entire school year.  _


	2. Leo and the Meet and Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Takumi remember each other and bitch. Also Takumi meets Flora and Felicia, and goes to the meet and greet, but then recieves some shocking news.

“ _ You,” _ Takumi growled. 

“Did I do something wrong for you to already be growling at me?” Leo said as he turned around and continued to unpack his belongings from a black box. “We’ve never met, I believe.” 

“Yes, we  _ have _ met, you pretentious asshole! Take a good look at my face. Tell me you don’t remember me!” 

Leo sighed and slowly turned around to look at the silver haired boy's face. Then his brown eyes lit up as the connection was made in his mind. 

“Gods, no! You’re that obnoxious kid, Taku-whatever!” Leo gasped.

“Takumi,” the shorter male growled again. “And you can cut it out with your pretentious ass act. I’m not gonna be taking any of your smartass act. Not at all.” 

“And I don’t think that I’ll be putting up with your whining and constant bitching.” Leo huffed. “Too bad we can’t request room switches, or else I would have made damn sure I was in a dorm far away from you, even if it had to be in Windmire Hall.” 

Windmire Hall was the dorm hall farthest away from the campus, and the students dreaded being assigned there. Hinoka had been assigned there last year, and she has said it was hell, quite literally. Hinoka was the blunt one, Sakura was the sweet and kind one, Ryoma was the no-nonsense one.

And Takumi.. Takumi wasn’t anything.

Shoving aside the thoughts in his head, he focused on the brown eyes of the frowning boy.  

“Listen. As long as we’re roommates, you’re not going to be getting in my way or saying your stupid snarky remarks. Got it?” 

Takumi frowned.

“And while we’re roommates, I am not going to hear your constant bitching. I have a scholarship to keep, and I don’t need it to be ruined by you.” Leo narrowed his eyes. 

“So we stay out of each other’s way. Got it?”

Takumi folded his arms.

“Whatever,” Leo said, and left the room.

Takumi huffed. He couldn’t believe his luck. Instead of maybe getting paired up with Hinata again or someone else, he got paired up with  _ fucking Leo Astria _ . Gritting his teeth, he went outside to find a girl with pink hair falling over with boxes of things.

Jakob sighed. “Felicia. You’ve done this four times in the last three minutes. You clearly have the coordination of a donkey.”

“I-I’m sorry, Jakob! I swear I’m not doing it on purpose!” Felicia stammered, brushing dust of her thigh length black dress and picking herself up.

“Hey, do you need some help?” Takumi stepped in. “I’ve all but settled in my dorm. I can take some time to help you.” Takumi really only said this because he noticed the numerous bandages and bruises on her legs, and he knew some horrible accident was going to happen if he  _ didn’t  _ help.

_ Where did Leo go?  _ The back of his mind wandered, but Takumi forced himself to help pick up a box and ask where Felicia’s room was. 

The pink haired girl guided Takumi to room 217, where another girl who looked just like Felicia was setting up bedsheets and clothes.

“Hi, Flora! How goes it?” Felicia waved.

Flora sighed, and looked at Takumi. “She fell outside, didn’t she.” 

Takumi nodded, and to his surprise, Flora chuckled. “Good grief, Felicia. You don’t need to use this young man’s time. Thank you, but I can help from here. You name is...?” 

“Takumi. Takumi Fujisaki.” Takumi set down the box and held out his hand. Flora took it and shook it.

“Flora Snow is my name. And this is my twin sister, Felicia. It’s very nice to meet you. You’re in Dragonfall Hall?”

Takumi nodded. “Yes. My roommate's name is... Leo Astria.” He shuddered as he said the name. 

“Ah, well… It was very nice to meet you, Takumi. I hope we can get along with each other.” Flora smiled at the boy.

“Yeah, thanks for helping me with the boxes!” Felicia chirped cheerfully. 

Takumi smiled. “It was no problem. It was nice to meet you as well.” 

He was going to stay a little longer and chat with the twins but when he heard angry voices in the main hall, he bidded farewell to the ladies and went out to see what was going on. 

It was Leo, who was having a rather heated discussion with Jakob. 

“You know this, Mr. Astria. You cannot request dorm changes. It is far too late for that. Maybe if you had gone to the meet your roommate party like the others did, you could have seen that you and your roommate did not seem like a good fit and request a change then.” 

“But it wasn’t my fault Takumi didn’t show up! He’s a giant social outcast, anyways. He wouldn’t know what to do.” 

Takumi stormed over at that statement. “Excuse me, I am not a social outcast. I just don’t like parties. Forgive me for not wanting to go, asshole.” 

Leo snapped his head to Takumi. “It’s all your fault we’re in this situation. If you had some damn guts and showed to the stupid party, we would have seen that we were not the right fit for each other. At all.” 

The two looked expectantly at Jakob. The gray haired man sighed. “I can’t do anything. The administration won’t take exceptions. You two are just going to have to grin and bear it. This is out of my hands and there is nothing I can do.” 

The two boys groaned, and then shot dirty looks at each other. 

“What I can say is this.” Jakob suddenly had a very scary look on his face. “You two are going to be civil. For the sake of the peace of Dragonfall Hall. No fighting, no pranks, no  _ nothing.  _ If I find that one is doing anything to the other in  _ any way _ , I will see to it that  _ both _ of you are suspended for a very long time. Am I understood?” 

The boys grumbled.

“I  _ said, am I understood? _ ” Jakob said again with dripping deadliness in his voice.

“Yes, Jakob,” the boys said more clearly. 

“Good!” Jakob smiled again. “The meet and greet is in two hours. We will meet in the kitchen. Be sure you’re on your best behavior.” And with that, he turned on his heel to help out another boy and girl, who looked exactly alike. The girl had long silver hair, and the boy had short silver hair and looked at the girl with a smile on his face. 

_ More twins?  _ Takumi thought to himself. 

Leo breathed a big sigh and turned back to their shared room. Takumi followed him, and saw Leo sit down on his bed, clearly pondering. 

“Okay then, I guess we have to play nice. So… Favorite food?” 

Takumi scoffed. “Don’t try that crap with me. I’ll only act nice for the sake of the show. Not to be friends with you.” 

Leo rolled his eyes. “Fine, then. Have a stick up your ass all you want, but I’m going to enjoy my time here in Dragonfall Hall.” 

And with that, Leo lied down on his bed and turned to the side.

-

The meet and greet was designed to help students learn each other's names and miscellaneous things. It was time to get to know the people in your hall, and a time of fun and relaxation. Of course, Takumi didn’t enjoy parties too much, but it was mandatory, and he didn’t think Jakob would feel too kindly to Takumi skipping out. And he also didn’t think Jakob wasn’t kidding about suspending Takumi. 

So, with a welling anxiety inside him, he headed for the kitchen. Leo was already there, Takumi had decided to follow Leo's lead and take a nap, and woke up 30 minutes before the party was scheduled to start. He put on his old archery camp shirt, and some shorts, and went to the kitchen.

Seeing so many people made Takumi want to vomit, the light, whispy anxiety inside him turned into a heavy stone that sat in the pit of his stomach. With a gulp, he tried to walk in discreetly, but ended up being noticed by the silver haired twins. 

“Oh, hello!” The girl said and waved at Takumi. Takumi walked over to the girl and forced a smile on his face. “I’m Takumi Fujisaki. And you are?” 

“I’m Kamui. And this is my twin brother, Corrin.” the boy smiled and waved.

“Nice to meet you, Takumi,” Corrin said as he he held a cup of soda. 

“N-nice to meet you too,” Takumi said, and slipped away. 

As he walked around the spacious kitchen, he saw Jakob was talking to Flora, who was hanging onto his every word, and Felicia trying to balance a small plate of BBQ chips, only to stumble and trip, causing the chips to scatter all over the brown hardwood floor. 

Takumi bent down to help Felicia with the food, and heard Flora chuckling and bending to help Felicia up on her feet. 

Once the food was in the garbage, Takumi said goodbye to the twins and went into the living room, hoping to find peace and quiet. But what he found was even  _ more  _ people. He spotted a silver haired boy, chatting up a girl, winking and flirting. But the girl stomped off and huffed, and the boy sighed. He saw a blond haired boy demonstrating something with great enthusiasm, and a whole lot of people were laughing at him. He saw a girl devour plate after plate of food, never stopping to take a swig of the many cups of soda she had by her. 

Takumi was beginning to feel sick. All this chatter, all that talking… he was getting dizzy. 

Then he remembered,  _ I haven’t texted Ryoma! _ Scrambling and managing to find a quiet spot upstairs, he pulled out his phone from his pocket, unlocked the screen, and saw that he had about six texts from Hinoka. Sent about ten minutes ago. 

Oh no.

He opened the first one.

_ Takumi? _

Then the next four.

_ Takumi. _

_ Takumi, answer! _

_ Takumi, there’s an emergency! _

_ TAKUMI!! _

And as he opened the final one, he saw that it was sent about three minutes ago. And he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the words: 

_ Sakura passed out!! _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter! My writing blog is writerleen.tumbr.com! I post updates there!


	3. Sakura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi goes to see Sakura and find out what is wrong, but hes stopped by someone.

_I’m on my way._

That was the only words Takumi sent back to Hinoka as he felt his heart race. Sakura. His little sister, Sakura, had fainted.

Would she be okay?

Takumi grabbed his phone and charger and raced upstairs.

The main hallway was dark, no lights illuminated the hallway, except for the giant side window that let the moon’s brightness slip into the hall.

Takumi ran with urgency and panic, he knew Sakura had been placed at Cheve Hall, also known as the Freshman hall. It was about a five minute walk from Dragonfall Hall. He kept running, but seeing as he was breathing hard and felt light headed, he slowed his run to a jog.

Until he felt something grab his arm.

Takumi turned around, but he saw that it was Leo, who had a worried look on his face. Despite that, however, Takumi ripped his hand from from Leo’s grasp, and sneered. “What the hell do you want?”

“Is.. Is everything okay? I saw that you left really suddenly. We may not be friends, but you can still tell me what’s wrong.” Leo panted.

Looking into Leo’s eyes, Takumi saw a mixture of worry and exhaustion, but he didn’t have time to waste. Not now. Not on _fucking Astria._

“I don’t have time for you,” Takumi said simply and turned around.

“Damnit, Takumi, wait!” Leo grabbed Takumi’s arm again, and this time, Takumi turned around slapped his hand away.

“I said, I _don’t have time for you_.” Takumi said with gritted teeth. “I have an emergency and I’d rather not spend time on a pretentious know-it-all.”

Leo took a step back and Takumi could see the hurt in his eyes. But he didn’t care about that now. He had to get to Cheve Hall and see that Sakura was okay.

Turning around again and jogging away, he left Leo, hurt, in the middle of the hallway, the moon illuminating his body.

All Leo could do was sigh.

 

-

When Takumi had gotten enough strength back, he ran across the green grass of campus, passing the oak trees, past the Nestra Library, the Great Hall, where meals and the auditorium was located, and past a tree that was dedicated to the first Headmaster, who was only called the Rainbow Sage. No one knew why he was called that, but he was the one who oversaw Valla University the first years it opened.

Takumi finally reached his destination, and the first thing he noticed was that there was a light on in only one room, and as he went inside, he heard a voice.

“Takumi! Over here!”

He looked to his right, where the voice was coming from, and saw Hinoka, still in her shirt red dress, scarf thrown around her neck. That scarf was a gift from their mother, Ikona, who always loved and doted on her children.

Takumi felt rather ignored by his mother, however, as she doted on the eldest, Ryoma, the star equestrian, Hinoka, or the baby, Sakura. Takumi felt so ignored that on the nights where his anxiety was at its apex, he would have dark thoughts about ending his life and not one of his family members remembering him.

Shaking his head and clearing his thoughts, Takumi raced over to Hinoka, who wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head. “Takumi. Oh, Takumi. Baby brother. You’re safe. You’re here.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course I would be,” he said, but really, deep down, he was happy that Hinoka had called him her baby brother, something she rarely did. Only when she was emotional, or when she saw the stress and depression getting to Takumi. And right now, she was the former.

“Sakura’s room is this way. She’s sharing a room with Elise Astria,” Hinoka explained as she walked Takumi down the hall.

Takumi instantly recognized the last name. _Leo has a sister?_ But he decided to ask Leo about that later, instead continuing to follow Hinoka. When she turned right and stopped at a door, 310, she opened the door and saw that Sakura was lying on her bed, unconscious. Ryoma was making sure she was alright, and Takumi saw a girl with pigtails, ribbons in each one, wearing a pink and black dress, dabbing a cloth on Sakura’s head.

“What’s going on?” Takumi went straight to Ryoma.

“A doctor came to see Sakura a little before you came here, Takumi. She passed out from the heat. She was overworking herself, carrying so much. The doctor said that she would be okay, she’ll probably wake up soon. But when she does, we need to give her lots of water. Thank goodness we have Elise. I must thank you again, Elise.”

Elise turned around with a bright, happy smile. “Of course! I only met Sakura a couple of hours ago, but she seems super nice and sweet!” she turned to Takumi. “What’s your name? Are you related to Ryoma and Hinoka?”

Takumi looked at the freshman. She seemed happy and outgoing, the opposite of Leo. He couldn’t help but smile. “Yes. I’m Sakura’s other brother, Takumi. It’s nice to meet you, Elise. Thank you for tending to Sakura. I know you’ll be a good roommate to her.”

Elise brightened. “Thanks, Takumi!”

Everyone stayed in the girls’ room for another hour and a half, until...

....a groan came from Sakura, whose eyes fluttered open.

“Sakura!” Everyone in the room rushed to her side with bottles of cold water. As they focused on her, Takumi couldn’t even get a word in. He couldn’t get a word in to say to Sakura.

_Ignored. As usual._

Takumi decided right then to take his leave. Why had Hinoka even texted him? She had wasted his time, making him think that he was an important part of the family. He saw no point in coming. He couldn’t even say a word to his little sister.

He left without anyone noticing, and as he walked his way back to Dragonfall Hall, he took out his phone and sent a text to Sakura.

_I’m glad you’re okay._

And he kept walking without turning back.

-

Back at Cheve Hall, Sakura saw her phone light up as she drank ice cold water. She looked at it and saw a text from Takumi, simply stating four words, _I’m glad you’re okay._

“Wait! W-where’s Takumi?” Sakura exclaimed, not seeing her brother anywhere.

It was then everyone noticed that Takumi was gone.

-

Back at Dragonfall Hall, it was quiet. It was midnight, and Takumi assumed that everyone had gone asleep. But when he saw the light streaming under his and Leo’s bedroom, he sighed loudly and opened the door.

Leo was lying on his bed, using his phone. Donning a black tank top and blue boxers,  he took out his earbuds at the sight of Takumi, and blinked. “Everything okay?”

Takumi didn’t respond.

“I told Jakob you had an emergency. He was really pissed that you had left, but he let it slide when I told him what happened.”

Still no words from Takumi as he took off his shorts and instead put on his white boxers.

“You have a sister?” Takumi finally said to Leo.

“Yes…? How do you know that?”

“My sister is roommates with your sister, Elise,” Takumi explained as he got into bed. He felt so exhausted, and for some reason, Leo’s quiet voice made him drawn to it.

“Ah, I see. I don’t have just Elise, though. I have another sister and a brother. I’m the third child. Just younger than my other sister and older than Elise. My brother is the eldest.”

 _“_ That’s how it is with me, too,” Takumi looked at Leo, who yawned.

“See? We’re not so different, Takumi-”

“That doesn’t mean we can be friends.” Takumi cut him off.

Leo tossed up his hands. “Goodnight,” he simply said, and turned out the light.

“‘Night.” Takumi said, rolling over and pulling sheets on top of him.

 _I guess.. We really aren’t so different,_ Takumi thought as his mind drifted to sleep.

_We really do have some things in common._

  
And that was the last thought the silver haired boy had as sleep washed over him.


	4. Dawn of The Final Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoever gets the chapter name ref gets a cookie. Let me know if you know what it is!!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!!!

Takuumi woke up to the sound of chirping birds. Groggy, he opened his eyes, and saw that the sun was shining outside.

One day before classes began.

He rolled over and was relieved to see Leo was gone, and got out of bed. Looking at the mirror while he brushed his hair, he yawned and looked down at his phone. He saw that he had five missed calls and one text. Of course, the text was from Hinoka.

Takumi scoffed and cleared his notifications. Not like he mattered to them in the least.

But he did see the time on his phone: it was noon. His stomach growled and he decided that he needed a bite to eat. Luckily, he had bought 20 something frozen ready made meals, all marked with his name on it, so nobody else would eat them, and put them in the freezer. He decided he’d eat one and then go see Sakura to make sure she was ok. Then he’d go see Hinoka.

And Ryoma…

Takumi frowned as he thought of his older brother. Ryoma was the one receiving all the praise, all the recognition, all the love. While Takumi didn’t get any whatsoever.

  
He decided not to see Ryoma today.  
-  
After putting up his hair in his trademark ponytail and putting on fresh clothes, Takumi left his dorm and went on his way to the kitchen. Leaning against the door was the same silver haired girl who was devouring last night…. Only now she was attacking a bag of chips savagely, chewing loudly as she ate.

Kamui, one of the second pair of twins that Takumi had met last night, poked her head of out the open door the girl, and frowned. “Effie, why are you chomping so damn loudly? I need to go over this syllabus!”

“Sorry..” Effie said, ceasing her chewing. “It's my before lunch snack. I’m so hungry.”

  
Chucking internally, Takumi went down the stairs to see that Corrin and the grey haired boy who was flirting were there, sitting at the table and eating a bowl of chips.

Not listening to their chatter, Takumi opened the freezer and was relieved to see that all his meals were still there. He took one out, shoved it in the microwave, and punched the timer on the microwave. While he waited for his food to warm up, he read the text from Hinoka, sent at one thirty am.

_Takumi. I don’t know why you left. Why did you leave? In any case, it was so unexpected. If you were feeling upset, you could have told us. We love you and we care about you. Please, come see me when you can. I was placed in Izumo Hall, across campus. Take a shuttle there and knock on room 561._

Takumi sighed. The least he could do was go see Hinoka, fake that he was ok, and leave. He really only cared about how Sakura was doing, if she had gone to the nurse's office like she was told to to receive some medicine. Sakura was weak, frail and sickly, and she needed to be reminded to pick up her medicine.

Eating slowly, Takmi thought about the first day of his sophomore year, that would begin tomorrow. It made him feel nervous, although he knew some of the kids that went with him last year attended the school now. Hinata, Oboro, he even remembered seeing Jakob around last year. But now.... Now it was just a ball of anxiety welling inside him, not as bad as the nights before final exams last year... Or when he sent off his application to Valla U.

The anxiety... It was like someone was suffocating him, choking his perception of reality so bad he couldn't think straight. When it was particularly bad, it would feel like someone had either closed his throat or it had locked up, and he couldn't breathe...

Thinking about the anxiety now made Takumi's stomach turn to stone. He sighed, as he knew that meant he wouldn't be able to finish his meal. He put it in the fridge and headed upstairs to leave for the Infirmary. On his way out, he saw Jakob in front of him room.

"Ah, Mr, Fujisaki. Is everything OK? Mr. Astria told me you had an emergency last night." Jakob stated.

"Yes, my sister passed out. I wanted to go and make sure she was OK. I'm sorry," Takumi said.

Jakob nodded. "Of course. I can understand that. I do hope she is OK."

"Yeah. Well, I'll be off to check on her. Thank you for your concern," Takumi turned to leave.

As he left, Jakob sighed. "What a curious one."

-  
Walking across campus in the much cooler weather, Takumi spotted Elise walking and talking with Leo, her hands animated as she talked to her brother. Leo had a smile on his lips and nodded every so often, hooked on his sister's every word.

Takumi frowned. Elise was probably telling him about last night.... Shoving the memory out of his head, he continued to make his way to the infirmary.

-  
When Takumi opened the infirmary door, he expected to see Sakura there, taking her medicine. But what he saw instead was a heavy set, tanned man assisting a girl with short blue hair over one eye, wincing as the man put alcohol over the long gash on her leg.

The girl saw Takumi and waved. "Hello...."

"Uh.. Hi. Who are you?" Takumi asked, sitting down in the chair next to her.

"My name is Setsuna Atsugara. I'm in here often. I fall into a lot of ditches... Or pitfalls... Or rabbit traps..." She said with a dreamy look in her eye.

"Uh.. OK. Um.." He looked at the man dabbing alcohol. "And you are?"  
The man looked up. "I'm Benny Garrison. Are you looking for someone? I'm the nurse's assistant for the day." His deep voice seemed.. Gentle somehow, to Takumi, although he knew Benny could probably pick him up and snap him like a twig in under a minute.

"Sakura Fujisaki. She has short pink hair.. She had some medications to take. I'm her older brother."

"Hmm.. Oh! A Sakura did come in here. And yes, she took some medications and drank a lot of water. She said she passed out from the heat. Don't worry, she seemed... Fine when she came in."  
Takumi smiled. "Good. Thank you for your help, and Setsuna, I hope you feel better."

"Thaaanks..." Setsuna giggled.  
-  
After Takumi had gone to see that Sakura was feeling in fine form, he went to see Hinoka, who was there with Ryoma, which made Takumi gimace inwardly, his plans of not seeing Ryoma ruined. After saying hello and apologizing, Ryoma thought it best to call their parents and let them know all was OK.

Hinoka dialed their dad's number on her phone and put it on speaker, so the dial tone could be heard, until a click and a gruff voice came on the line.

"Hello?"

"Father! It's Hinoka. We just wanted to call and let you and Mother know that we got unpacked safely. Sakura actually passed out yesterday, but we took good care of her, and Takumi made sure she took her medications this morning. How are you and mother?"

Their father laughed. "Empty nesters, again. At least your mom and I can have some alone time.."

The kids audibly groaned. "Father, please!" Ryoma said. 

"And how are you, Ryoma?" Sumeragi coughed.

"Well, Father. I've read all my syllabus and I'm prepared. I haven't forgotten anything."

"Ahh.. And you, Hinoka? And Sakura?"

"I'm well too, Father. Please tell Mother I said hello. And Sakura is all right. I paid her a visit this morning."

"Ah, I will. Now I must bid you farewell, I do have some plans with your Mother today. Please stay safe, my children. Goodbye."

"Farewell, Father!" Hinoka said cheerily and hung up.

 _He forgot about me,_ Takumi thought to himself. And he burned with anger at the realization.

Seeing the boy sulk made Hinoka and Ryoma realize as well, their father had forgotten to talk to Takumi. "Oh, Takumi. Father loves you, you know it."

"Fuck off," Takumi spat and picked up his satchel. "I don't need this. Constantly being forgotten and overlooked. I'm out of here."

"Takumi!" The siblings called after him as the silver haired boy slammed the door.  
-  
Storming his way back to his dorm, Takumi flung opened the door only to find Leo and another tall, purple haired girl with a very voluptuous figure standing in the spacious room.

"Who the fuck are you?" Takumi spat.

The girl turned around and smiled. "My name is Camilla. I'm Leo's sister. You must be this hot headed roommate Leo was telling me about."

Leo slapped his palm to his head. "Jesus Christ, Camilla!"

Takumi sneered. "Out. I need to be alone."

"This is my room too-"

"I said, OUT!"  
Leo narrowed his eyes at his roommate and sighed. "Let's go, Camilla. Do you want some frozen yougurt?" He asked as they left.

'Sounds perfect, darling," was the last thing Takumi heard as he slammed the door behind him, locked it, and threw himself onto the bed, where the tears came out, and he cried until his body lulled him to sleep.  
-  
Waking up, Takumi saw that he had slept through the entire day, and looking over at his clock, he saw that it was nearly 1 am, and Leo was back, sitting up on his bed, looking exhausted, clacking away on his laptop.

Takumi had the urge to yell at him, but his earlier rage subsided, instead he checked his phone and saw texts from Hinoka and Ryoma. He scoffed, ignoring them.

It was unexpected, but Leo spoke. "I know how you feel."

"What?"

"Being constantly overlooked or ignored by your siblings. I had to force Camilla to come see me today. I know how it feels, Takumi. We're not so different. But.. As you said before, it doesn't mean we can be friends. I get it," Leo closed his laptop and turned his back to Takumi."Good night." 

Takumi huffed as he rolled over and snuggled himself into his blankets.  
I hav better things to worry about. Not fucking Astria. Not him.

But another side of Takumi wanted to connect with a kindred soul like him. Only, he scoffed at those feelings and pushed them away, closing his eyes and letting sleep wash over him.

 


	5. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day!!!   
> I have some things to say, in the authors note!

It was the first day. 

After a  _ lovely _ mini panic attack at the thought of so many new and unfamiliar people, Takumi dragged himself out of bed, took a shower, and got ready for the day. Nearly everyone in Dragonfall Hall was in the kitchen or the living room, waiting for Jakob to come back with their schedules and send them off for the day. 

Takumi sat off in a corner and checked his phone, seeing a text from Sakura. He smiled. Sakura was his favorite, she paid attention to him and loved him, when he felt so isolated and shunned by the rest of the family, Sakura would tiptoe into his room and watch his favorite videos with him, or bring her some of the cookies she baked in her cooking class. Sakura did the little things that made Takumi happy and always gave him a reason to live. 

_ Big brother, I hope you have a good first day! _

He smiled at the text, then frowned as he thought of his father and mother, who hadn't texted him at all, but probably texted or called his other siblings, and he felt a flicker of anger at the thought, but extinguished it, nestled down in his spot, and sighed. Jakob still wasn’t back yet, and Takumi’s mind wandered. 

He and Leo had gotten ready quietly, the rustling of shirts and the sounds of the books sliding into their backpacks, Takumi took his satchel, made sure everything he wanted and needed was in there, then put it on and left the room, leaving Leo on his cell phone, presumably to call someone.

Then, he went downstairs to see Kamui talking to the gray haired boy who was flirting with girls at the meet and greet. Kamui waved Takumi over and smiled, her eyes shining with excitement. 

“Takumi, have you met Laslow?” Kamui had gestured to him as soon as Takumi had came over. 

“No…” the silver haired boy fidgeted.  Meeting new people always made him nervous. 

Laslow smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you, Takumi.”

“Y-yeah. Nice to meet you too. I’m gonna grab some breakfast, if you don’t mind…” Takumi reached for the fridge handle. 

“Oh, there’s no need. Jakob made breakfast for all of us this morning. Eggs, bacon, some freshly squeezed orange juice. Apparently, his grandfather used to be a butler. That’s where he learned all these skills,” Kamui said. “He did this for us as a special occasion, the first day! It’s in the living room.” 

Takumi blinked and took his hand away from the fridge. Turning around, he went into the living room to find a big spread of food, and of course, Effie had a big mountain of bacon and eggs by her side. Takumi sighed, picked up a plate, and ladled a small portion of scrambled eggs onto it, and picked up one slice of bacon. 

And here he was now, in the corner, nibbling on breakfast, reading the text from Sakura over and over again, trying to clear his head every time he read it. 

_ Sakura cares. Sakura loves you. You don’t need Hinoka or Ryoma. Or mother and father. Sakura loves you. _

Chanting that mantra in his head, it was the only way to keep him sane at the times where his desire for attention was at its apex, clawing at him and begging to be fed by anyone around him. He almost did risky things, wandering out into the middle of the freeway, being approached by seedy looking men, offering cash and love in exchange for Takumi’s.. ‘services.’ It was usually when the silver haired boy went home and cried into his pillow… 

Takumi could feel his head suddenly pounding with a headache. He didn’t like remembering those nights, where he would often contemplate his mortality and why he was born. He just wanted to get this stupid day over with, and then sleep for the rest of his life. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Leo, who walked into the room and picked up a plate, and get food. Spotting Takumi, he went over to the boy and sat down next to him. 

Takumi frowned. “What do you want?” 

Leo closed his eyes. “I just wanted to get away.” 

The silver haired man glared at Leo, but then, as Leo opened his eyes, Takumi saw the exhaustion and weariness that was held in them. 

_ Does Leo… Have to work to get attention too?  _

“Why are you so tired?” Takumi asked, albeit gruffly. 

 

Leo pushed his fingers through his hair. “Working.”

He offered no more details, and Takumi didn’t ask for them.  They sat there quietly, occasionally taking bites of their breakfast. Takumi noticed little things, like Leo’s hand trembling ever so slightly, the delicate fingers struggling to hold the fork. He noticed how his hair was messy and unkempt, not dissimilar to Hinata’s. 

_ What the hell..  _ Takumi thought.

When Leo had finished eating, he brushed off the crumbs, picked up his backpack, and left.

Takumi took a bite of the eggs and mused. 

 

-

 

Jakob had  _ finally _ come back with the schedules, and now the first day of the new school year at Valla University had begun..

Takumi looked at his schedule.  _ Okay. First class… math. _

Looking at the paper, his class seemed to be in… the math building, Krakenburg, which was about a five minute walk south from Dragonfall Hall. 

Takumi began his walk, basking in the warm glow of the summer sunlight, as he passed some kids…Benny, walking with a curvaceous blond haired girl, who was wearing… Quite the revealing outfit. Takumi couldn’t help but stare a little, and the girl saw him and winked. Takumi looked away, blushing, and ran off. 

Gods. Were girls looking like  _ that  _ nowadays? Skinny and curvy and.. Very well endowed? His two sisters  _ never  _ dressed like that, Sakura out of modesty for herself and her body,  Hinoka because she tended to not be girly. She was still a bit stuck in her tomboy stage…

This is why Takumi prefered the company of his male companions to anything else.

A sudden tap on his shoulder brought him back to reality, and Takumi turned around. His face broke out into a huge grin when he saw who it was. “Hinata! Hey!” 

There was Hinata Naegi, standing with a smirk on his face, holding hands with Oboro. She was majoring in fashion and made some of the best clothes around, being the daughter of famous fashion designers. She always kept up with the latest trends and styles, and today she was wearing a cream pink, off shoulder shirt with short shorts, along with flat sandals and her hair tied into a long braid. 

Takumi had never told Hinata this, but he knew Oboro had had a crush on him in year of high school, spanning all the way until senior year, when Hinata got the courage to ask her to prom, and she accepted happily. The two had been inseparable ever since…

Standing there now, so happy with Hinata… Takumi couldn’t help but wonder,  _ am I going to be alone?  _

Hinata grinned. “How have you been, roomie?”

Takumi forced a smile on his face once more. “I’ve been alright. I got paired up with a kid named Leo Astria… Someone from my childhood. Who’d you get paired up with?” 

“Oh, me? I got paired with a guy named Subaki Takamura. Dude is a bit of a weirdo, but we get along okay.” 

“Heh,” Takumi chuckled. “And how are you, Oboro?” 

“Oh, I’ve been great! I went with my parents this summer to one of their shows. All the way to a big town, but I forget the name. It was so beautiful, all the yukatas covered in lavish silk, the dresses make out of the best cloth…” 

Oboro had a dreamy look in her eye, and Hinata sighed. “Well, we better let you go. Don’t want you to be late for the first day!” 

“Yeah,” Takumi smiled again. “It was good to see you, Hinata. You too, Oboro.” 

Oboro giggled. “Nice to see you too, Takumi!” 

The classes were a blur. Takumi sat in the back of the lecture room and tried to concentrate as the professors droned on about themselves and the class they would be taking and what it entailed. Science? Same thing. By the time he got to Painting, Takumi was just done, he let his brain shut down and just went dead.

His final class was Art and Archeology of ancient Valla. He didn’t want to be in this class, but he needed another art class besides Painting, and this seemed like the one that appealed to him the most.

Walking into the classroom, he saw a lot of different people. A mixed boy with white hair and a eye patch who was talking to Corrin, Laslow from this morning, sitting in a seat, checking his phone, and he looked to his right and saw…

_ Leo Astria. _

Takumi sighed loudly.  _ Fuck _

Sitting in the very back like he usually did, th bell rang and the class began. The professor came into the room and introduced himself, and Takumi zoned out. 

After what seemed like an eternity, a sharp poke snapped Takumi back to reality. He looked at the professor, who cleared his throat. “As I was saying, sir, would you mind moving up and sitting next to this young man here?” the professor gestured to Leo, who was sitting alone. 

_ Oh no. Oh hell no.  _

Takumi gritted his teeth. “I’m just fine back here-” 

“I need you to come up so that he can have a partner. Come on, now.” 

Leo turned around and looked at Takumi with his brown eyes, and shook his head slowly.

Takumi heaved a sigh, picked up his belongings, and moved his seat. Once he had sat down next to Leo, Takumi scooted his chair a little bit away from the blond, who sighed as well. 

And that was how class went, Takumi staring out the window and Leo looking to the front to pay attention.

-

_ Fuck. _

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want a class with Leo. Being his roommate was bad enough… why put them in a class together now?! They were like oil and water, and those two never mixed. 

Takumi thought to himself,  _ fuck.  _

Then, as he was walking back from his Archeology, he got a text from Ryoma.

_ Come see meat the ice cream parlor downtown. I haven’t had one on one time with you in so long. _

Takumi smiled. 

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is feedback chapter! What do you like about the story, what dont you like? What do you want me to expand on? Just leave review and critique on this chapter! 
> 
> Also, what would you guys think if i did little paraloues and xenolouges, like.little side stories and things that happened before valla university? Let me know what you think of that too!
> 
> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com!


	6. Humans and Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi goes to meet Ryoma in the ice cream parlor, but when things go badly, two people come to Takumi's aid.

On the way downtown to the ice cream parlor where the Fujisakis regularly went to, Takumi thought about Ryoma.

Ryoma, his brother. The eldest child of the Fujisaki family. First to graduate, first to attend Valla.

Ryoma was the first at everything. 

Takumi had always felt inferior. He always felt he could never live up to Ryoma or Hinoka’s accomplishments and often felt forgotten or left out. His childhood was a distant memory to him, but he did remember being close to Ryoma back then, up until he was in the sixth grade.

Then, the hormones and the mood swings kicked in, and Takumi alienated everyone in his family except Sakura. He supposed he himself could be at fault for never receiving the attention he so craved, but he did try. He worked hard in school, joined the archery team, and tried to be a good son. Yet… yet he was always overshadowed by Ryoma. He never got recognition. He never got a pat on the back or a “good job” said towards him. All those years, he felt bitter resentment towards Ryoma, yet he always tried to push it aside and forgive and forget… 

The bell dinged, signaling Takumi to snap back to reality and get off the shuttle. His feet hit the ground and he breathed in the fresh air, feeling the slight wind on his face.

He was alive. He was alive and he was feeling all these sensations. And that was what kept him grounded on the days he felt like nothing but a ghost, able to see, hear, and talk...but be heard and seen by no one.  
  


Takumi just wanted to be heard. He just wanted to be seen. Maybe Ryoma had finally realized how Takumi felt. Maybe now he would begin to be seen. 

Walking into the parlor, Takumi saw that Ryoma wasn’t there yet. That was fine. It gave Takumi time to sit and think about the past more…

 

_ - _

_ Takumi had ran home from the bus stop as soon as it had pulled up. He was so excited to show his father his latest big achievement, a 100 on his math test. He couldn’t wait to show his father. Finally, he would get that smile and those words: “I’m proud of you.”  _

_ But as he stepped inside, he heard his father's laughter. Peeking around the corner, he saw Ryoma and his mother, and his father was smiling and patting Ryoma on the shoulder.  _

_ “Look at this. A perfect score on your exams and a perfect score on your entrance exam to high school. I’m so proud of you, Ryoma. We must tell everyone!”  _

_ And right then the heat of anger burned brighter than ever before in Takumi. Quietly stomping up to his bedroom, he silently screamed in his mind as he tore up his test paper, the shredding of the paper bringing him a sick sort of calm. He wasn’t able to hold back his choked sobs, crying as the tears blurred his vision, as he continued to rip up the paper until it was nothing more than tiny scraps, his achievement long forgotten.  _

_ Throwing his small body onto his bed, he screamed into the pillow, venting his frustration and anger, the fabric muffling his shrieks.  _

_ He screamed until he felt himself fall asleep from exhaustion.  _

 

-

The memory was still vivid in his mind… Even after so many years. His father never did learn of Takumi’s accomplishment that day.

A man with long hair, white bangs and the rest of his hair black came to Takumi’s table. “Can I get you anything?” his grin was wide and a little infectious, Takumi couldn’t help but smile a bit himself.  Takumi took a look at his name tag, it read, in small bold text,  _ Keaton.  _

_ “ _ No, I’m ok. I’m just waiting on someone. Do you go to Valla University?” Takumi decided,  _ why not. It won’t hurt to talk to him until Ryoma comes instead of sitting here like a loner.  _

“Ah, nah. I go to the community college a little further downtown from here,” Keaton sat down at Takumi’s table. “You go to Valla U?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty good place. I like it. How do you like community college?” 

Keaton leaned back in the chair. “Pretty ok. It’s a hell of a lot easier than high school, that’s for sure..” 

Takumi was about to ask Keaton another question when he spotted Ryoma come in through the door, and smile at Takumi. 

Keaton turned around and grinned. “That’s who you’ve been waiting for? Oh. Anyways…” Keaton got up as Ryoma took his seat. “Do you guys want anything? It’s on the house.” 

“A vanilla milkshake, please,” Ryoma said. 

“I’ll take a slice of chocolate ice cream cake,” Takumi said.

“Coming right up!” Keaton dashed away and left the two brothers alone.

Ryoma smiled. “So? How was your first day?”

Takumi tapped his fingers on the table. “It was okay. Nothing eventful. I just got through my classes. How about you?” 

“My day was very well. My professors seem to like me. They’re very nice.” 

And suddenly, Takumi felt that earlier flame burning inside him again, but forced himself to squash it.  _ Don't ruin this. Don’t. Ruin. This.  _

Takumi cleared his throat as their orders were brought to their table. “Thank you, Keaton!” 

The black and white haired boy grinned. “Ehehe. No problem. Enjoy!” 

Ryoma sipped his milkshake and looked out the window. Takumi could see the various scars on his bare arms, he was wearing a tank top today. The scars came from exploring outside at a young age, either being pricked by thorns, scratched by tree branches, or bit by mosquitoes. 

As a young child, Ryoma had a wild and adventurous spirit, although it died and he became a disciplined man by the age of thirteen, the hormones kicking in his mind and telling him that exploring outside with his eleven year old little brother was too childish and undisciplined. He studied and took up the way of the sword, first attending fencing camp when he was about to go into 7th grade. He was gifted and became the pride of the Fujisakis, eventually sharing that title with Hinoka the star equestrian rider. 

Takumi didn’t get recognition. Ever. Not for joining the varsity archery team, not for getting first place at a state competition. All of the attention was stolen by Ryoma.

And it made him angry again. Looking at his long brown hair, let loose into a neat wave down his back, while Takumi’s own long hair was pulled back into a ponytail. 

Closing his eyes and eating his ice cream cake, the two ate their desserts in silence until Ryoma spoke again.

“Why did you leave?”

“Leave what?”

“Sakura. When she was injured. That was insensitive of you, Takumi. She was hurt badly. Is that how you would treat mother or father?” 

Takumi exploded. 

“Me?  _ Insensitive _ ? That’s a huge crock of shit if I’ve ever heard it.” Takumi scoffed. 

“Watch. Your. Language,” Ryoma said in a deadly voice. 

“Not like it mattered to you. I never mattered to you… Don’t pretend like you care about me. None of you do. None of you except Sakura care. The rest of you wouldn’t give a damn if I lived or die. You’re the insensitive one here. Always oblivious to everyone else’s feelings.”

“Takumi. I am not oblivious. It was just selfish of you to leave when Sakura was sick. Were you just trying to get attention?”

“It’s not like any of my efforts ever did anything! You were the one father favored. You were the one mother doted on. You were loved and admired by everyone. I was just your shadow. I couldn’t ever make a name for myself. And you never noticed. You never noticed at all. You thought I was just some attention whore. Everyone did. I busted my ass to get where I was.. And no one gave me any recognition. You’re the oblivious and insensitive one. Just like mother. Just like father. Maybe that’s why Kagero broke up with you back then. Because you’re an insensitive dick who didn’t give thought to her feelings at all.”

“Don’t bring up Kagero, Takumi! Just tell me what’s wrong. I can help,” Ryoma said, standing up. 

“I’ll bring up Kagero as much as I damn well please. And you can piss off with your sudden caring about me. You don’t care. Not at all. And you never will. This was meaningless, you just meant to set this meeting up to berate me for leaving when I was supposedly being selfish. I wasn’t, and you don’t deserve and explanation. Bye, Ryoma. Have fun being a dolt.” 

With that, Takumi picked up his satchel and his cake and walked away, leaving Ryoma in the parlor, alone. 

-

The whole way back to Dragonfall Hall, Takumi was struggling to hold back the tears. He felt so alienated, so misunderstood… No one would see him. Not now, not ever. He was just a ghost. 

Opening the door with his key, he was relieved to sed that Leo was gone, he shoved the rest of the cake into his mouth and let the tears come. Crying loudly, he let all the frustrations and sadness of the day flow out through those tears. He suddenly heard a click, and failed to wipe the tears away before Leo came in.

The blond’s eyes widened. “Um.. Is everything okay?” 

The soft, compassionate way he said it sent Takumi into tears again. Leo looked distressed. Here he was, someone he disliked and the person who hated him sitting there, crying his eyes out. He had no idea what to do, so he left the room. He had a better idea, bring in someone that could help. He seemed to recall Laslow saying that he was able to cheer up others with ease...

Takumi sniffled.  _ Of course Leo left. Even he couldn’t be bothered to stick around with trash like me. I’m worthless. I’m useless. I’m just a ghost. No one cares. _

He heard another knock on the door and wiped his face. “Come in,” he said with a shaky voice.

Laslow poked his head in and smiled softly. “Hey, Takumi. Are you okay? Leo said you weren’t doing well, and he didn’t know how he could help, so he sent me in here. I’m Laslow. Remember me from this morning?” 

“Y-yeah,” Takumi sniffed. “I remember you.” 

“What seems to be the trouble, Takumi?” Laslow sat on Leo’s bed, legs folded. 

“My brother. He’s.. Just being oblivious and insensitive. As usual. I just…” Takumi almost burst into tears again.

“Hey, it’s okay. I might not know much about you, but I can say that it’ll be okay. Your brother will come around. You’ll fix your misunderstandings. It’ll all work out. Now, come on. Smile for me.” Laslow cracked such a huge and happy smile Takumi couldn’t help and do the same. Laslow was infectious. His optimism and happiness spread. 

“Okay, Laslow. You win. I’ll try and be a little more optimistic about this.” 

“There we go! I’m a dancer, Takumi, so I’ve learned how to make people happy. Whether if it’s with my dances, or if it’s just by cheering others up, I’ll do my best to help! You only call when you need me, okay?” Laslow helped Takumi up.

The silver haired boy couldn’t help but like Laslow. His boundless optimism bared in comparison to his moodiness, and Takumi felt like he and the gray haired boy would get along just fine.

“Thank you, Laslow. I appreciate it. Thank you so much.” 

“Hey, it’s no problem at all! Don’t worry about it,” Laslow winked and left. 

Takumi sat on his bed, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Deep breath after deep breath. That’s what he needed.. And some water as well. He leaned across to the mini fridge next to him and took out a bottle of water. Gulping down half the bottle, he felt himself calm down and breathe normally. 

Just then, Leo came in the room. “Did Laslow help? I would’ve tried to comfort you.. But.. We don’t like each other. That’s how it works, right?” Leo sat on his bed and opened his laptop.

Takumi glared. “That’s how it works. You may be trying to be nice to me, but it won’t change the fact that you’re still a pretentious asshole.  _ Nothing _ will change that.”

Leo sighed. “You may think that’s all I am. But I’m human. Just like you.”

_ Just like me. _

“Doesn’t.. It doesn’t matter! You’re still a dick.” 

“At least make an effort to get to know me before you go around judging me, ok?” Leo picked up his backpack and angrily left their dorm.

_ Fine by me,  _ Takumi thought. 

 

-

In the dead of the night, Takumi could hear Leo sleeping. Takumi himself couldn’t sleep. The fight with Ryoma and Leo troubled him, although he wasn’t sure why  _ Leo  _ was troubling him. But Ryoma hadn’t called or texted.

_ Shit,  _ Takumi thought.  _ He must be pissed.  _

  
But as he looked over to Leo, his slow breathing calmed him to an extent, and Takumi tried to match his breathing with Leo. Little by little, the breathing lulled Takumi to sleep. Eventually, he found himself dozing off, still breathing in sync with his roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @the anon who requested a fic on tumblr, your fic is under construction and being written! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you liked and what you didnt like!
> 
> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com!
> 
> Also, if you want to join a fire emblem related discord: https://discord.gg/RytxW


	7. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eh. I'll let yall find out for yaselves ;)))

The week had dragged for Takumi. 

If he wasn't in class, barely able to pay attention, he was holed up in his room, doing homework or other miscellaneous things. He was afraid of bumping into Ryoma on campus, and the two hadn’t said a word to each other since their fight in the ice cream parlor on Monday. No texts, no calls. In fact, he hadn’t heard from  _ anyone  _ in his family except for Sakura, who always texted Takumi that she hoped he had a good day. 

Leo, thank God, didn’t question Takumi’s state. But on Saturday morning, when they were both awake and in their rooms, Leo typing away at his laptop, and Takumi lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, it was when the blond spoke. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Takumi turned over and looked at him. “Why are you trying to be so nice to me?”

“Huh?” 

“You hate me. I hate you. What are you doing, being all friendly to me? What are you up to, Astria?” 

“Jesus Christ, Takumi. Not everyone has some ulterior motive behind all of their actions. Not all of us are terrible people to be suspicious of. I was just asking if you were okay. I may dislike you immensely, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen if you need to talk.” 

“I’m fine,” Takumi grumbled, turning away from Leo.

“You don’t seem fine,” Leo said in a gentle voice. 

“Look, I had a fight with my brother on Monday and we haven’t spoken. I’m afraid of seeing him on campus and that’s why I haven’t left Dragonfall Hall. Okay?” Takumi grimaced as the words came out of his mouth.

Leo smiled softly and closed his laptop. “Brother trouble, huh?”

Takumi glared. “Forget I said any of that!” 

“Takumi..” 

“I said,  _ forget it. _ I don’t need help or advice from you.” 

Leo threw his hands up. “You’re freaking impossible, Fujisaki. I’m trying to help you, even when I dislike you.” 

“I don’t. Need. Your. Help.” Takumi gritted his teeth and snarled at Leo. 

“Forget it, then. Sorry for trying to help.” Leo opened up his laptop again and clacked away on the keyboard. 

Takumi rolled over and stared at the wall while listening to Leo’s fingers hitting his keyboard. He didn’t know what the blond was working on, Valla University prided itself on not giving too much homework to students on the weekends so they could actually have a social life, but clearly, Leo wasn’t as social as he seemed…. 

Takumi sighed. He didn’t know why he was pushing away Leo so much. That feud was just a petty grade school thing. But then again… 

He was so arrogant. So cocky. Always sticking his nose down on others. And Takumi hated those things. And he hated Leo.

But why was the thought of opening up to him so appealing? Was it just because he had no one else to talk to? Was it because he was so hurt, so alone? 

Who knew. Takumi didn’t understand himself anymore. It had been such a crazy and messy week. Constantly racing to his next class, hoping to not see his siblings. Eating a frozen ready meal in Dragonfall Hall instead of the school lunches in the dining hall because his anxiety told him Ryoma would be there. Constantly having to watch every step he took and holing himself in his room.. It was exhausting. But he didn’t feel like apologizing to Ryoma. He had started it. Ryoma was the insensitive one. He didn’t understand how or what Takumi felt when he was so ignored, so left out…

The silver haired boy sighed as he felt tears prickle at his eyes. _What a damn crybaby you are, Takumi._ _Even more so than Sakura._ Even as he said this to himself, however, was unable to hold back the tears and let go, softly crying into his blanket, venting the frustrations and anxieties of the week into his sheets quietly so his roommate wouldn’t hear him. The last thing he needed was _Leo_ seeing him cry again. It was already humiliating, having the blond see Takumi cry once. He wouldn’t let it happen again. Not ever. 

_ I’ll never let Leo see me cry again, _ he thought as his tears lulled him into a deep sleep. 

-

When he woke to, Takumi first checked the time.  _ 3:07 PM _ . Stretching and sitting up, Takumi looked around their dorm. Leo was gone, to his ultimate relief, although Takumi noticed he had a text from Hinoka. 

_ Hey, little bro! Sakura and I are going out  for dinner tonight. It’s to celebrate one week down! Want to join?  _

Takumi texted her back. 

_ Ryoma won’t be there?  _

His phone pinged again.

_ Nope! Just you, me, and little sis.  _

Takumi smiled despite himself. An evening out with his sisters might just be what the doctor ordered. 

_ Where and what time?  _ Takumi texted back.

 

-

 

At 7:00, the shuttle bus pulled up to a restaurant named Dia, where a friend of Hinoka’s, Hana, had recommended.  

“Little brother!” Hinoka smiled and waved Takumi over.

“Hi, Hinoka,” Takumi hugged his older sister. “Hi, Sakura,” he hugged his little sister. 

“Takumi, w-we’re so glad you agreed to come. Someone else is coming, too!” 

Takumi smiled at the pink haired girl. “Oh, really? Who?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Hinoka winked, and sat down. “Now come on, decide what drink you want while we wait.”

The three siblings discussed food and their first week at Valla University while they waited for the mystery person to show up. 

“Sakura, how was your first week? I know it’s a lot different than Hoshido High School.” 

“O-oh! Um.. Well.. My classmates are really nice. There’s a guy named Subaki in one of my classes... H-he’s cute,” Sakura sighed. “B-but besides that, my teachers are really nice. E-Elise is really nice as well… She reminds me to go and take my medicine in the mornings.” 

“That’s really great, Sakura. I’m glad you’re enjoying your time here.” Hinoka smiled, then turned to her little brother. “And how about you, Takumi? How are you liking your roommate and your classes?” 

Takumi sighed. “You may not believe it, but do you both remember Leo Astria?” 

“T-that boy you didn’t like back in middle school?” Sakura questioned. 

“Yeah, him… he’s my roommate,” Takumi said.

Hinoka let out a laugh. “No way!” 

“Yes, way. And he remembers me, too. Worst of it is, he’s trying to be all buddy buddy with me. I hate it…” Takumi grimaced as he thought about Leo’s earlier words.

_ Not all of us are terrible people to be suspicious of. _

“But besides your roommate? How are your teachers? Your classmates?” Hinoka pressed.

“They’re pretty nice, too. My teachers like to drone on about stuff, but they can be pretty fun, too. So.. I guess it’s okay-”

Hinoka looked past the door. “Look, our mystery person is here!” she said it with a rather mischievous grin, and Takumi sighed.

_ Interrupted again,  _ Takumi thought, but as he turned to see who the mystery person was, his heart stopped.

_ Ryoma. _

_ In the flesh.  _

_ Coming towards their table. _

Takumi wanted to die.

 

-

 

“You said he wouldn’t be here!” Takumi angrily whispered to Hinoka. 

“I lied,” She said cooly. “Sakura found out about you guys’ fight on Monday. We decided to do a family mediation session! You can’t stay angry at each other forever,” she said as Ryoma took his seat next to Sakura. 

Ryoma took a quick glance at Takumi and cleared his throat. “Pardon me, Hinoka. You said Takumi wouldn’t be here.” 

“She set us up,” Takumi sneered at his older brother. “In order to ‘work out our differences’ or some bull.” 

“Now, we won’t start the real talk until we’ve all ordered our food, but Ryoma, how was your week?” 

“Just fine, Hinoka.” 

Hinoka narrowed her eyes at her older brother. She may have been younger than him, but she took  _ none _ of his shit. 

“Waiter, we’re ready to order!” Hinoka waved someone down. 

-

 

After the food had been brought to their table, the siblings began to eat quietly, until Hinoka broke the silence. 

“Ryoma. Takumi. Both of you apologize to each other.” 

Takumi almost spat out his food, while Ryoma looked very uncomfortable. 

“No offense, Hinoka, but hell no,” Takumi swallowed his food. 

“Hinoka…” Ryoma said, eyes closed. 

“Come on. From what Sakura tells me, you had a fight about her and Kagero. Is that true?” 

“Yes, I told Takumi he was being selfish because he left Sakura in her hour of meed-” 

“And  _ maybe _ , if you weren’t so oblivious, you’d see I couldn’t even get a word in to my little sister. None of you would let me! All of you always ignore me.” 

Hinoka looked worried. “You.. You feel ignored?” 

“You’re just as oblivious as Ryoma is. Tell me, how many times has mother and father called all of you this week?” 

“E-every single night,” Sakura piped up, then turned pale. “You mean… They h-haven’t…?” 

Takumi scoffed. “That’s what I thought.” 

Silence at the table.

“Takumi,” Hinoka cleared her throat. “I.. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt like this. Please, forgive me…” 

Takumi closed his eyes to avoid looking at his sister and exploding in anger. “It’s been going on for years. And you’ve just now noticed how ignored I am in this family? Forget it,” he decided, setting down his fork and knife. “I’m used to it. I’m used to everyone else getting all the love except me. So just drop it.”

“T-Takumi…” Sakura looked close to tears. 

Hinoka sighed. “Takumi, please, just apologize to Ryoma.” 

Takumi shot a deadly glance at his older sister. “Apologize for what, exactly? For feeling ignored? For always being in his shadow?” 

“For bringing up Kagero! You know how hard that was on him. They were so close. And it’s a sore subject with him. Please…” Hinoka clenched her fists. “Just say sorry.” 

Takumi started Ryoma dead in his eyes. “Only if he apologizes for calling me selfish.”

Hinoka turned to her older brother. “Please, Ryoma. Just say sorry,” she pleaded.

Ryoma started Takumi back in the eyes. They were cold, devoid of any emotion. Slowly setting down his fork, he sighed. 

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Hinoka. He was being selfish. Able to get in a word or not, he should have stayed. Sakura was injured. That was selfish of him to leave while she was just coming to. Explain to me yourself, Takumi,” he said, still staring into his eyes. “Why did you leave when Sakura had just woken up?” 

Takumi gritted his teeth.  _ Oh, now he was testing him…. _

“I left because I wasn’t able to get in a word to my little sister. When she woke up, I tried to ask her how she was feeling. If she was okay. But none of you would let me through to even talk to her. I saw no point in staying, so I left,” Takumi sipped his soda. “Happy now?” 

Ryoma closed his eyes, then sighed. “I’m sorry, Hinoka. That’s a poor excuse. I can’t apologize.”

“Ryoma, stop it!” Hinoka angrily said. “You never did know when to quit, did you? Just fucking apologize! I…” Hinoka never cursed unless she was extremely angry. “I don’t want my family to fight. It was bad enough, four years ago, when mother and father almost split up.. I can’t let you guys fight. Not about this. Please,” She said, with tears in her eyes, looking at Takumi. “Just apologize for bringing up Kagero.” 

Takumi sighed, then took a deep breath. “Ryoma, I’m sorry I brought up Kagero. It wasn’t fair of me, when I know how much that hurt you, breaking up with her.” he tried to fake sincerity in his voice to fool everyone, and it seemed like it worked, because Ryoma sighed.

“Takumi, I’m sorry I called you selfish. I didn’t know you felt so alienated and left out. Please. Forgive me.” 

Even though they had apologized, Takumi didn’t forgive Ryoma. He had only did it for the sake of Sakura and Hinoka… He hated seeing those two upset. He only did it for their sake. Not because he actually felt bad about bringing up Kagero… 

Kagero. Takumi wondered where she was now. He knew she went to Valla University, but she lived on a different part of campus, and she was dating one of Ryoma’s then friends, Saizo…

Takumi stood up, feeling anxiety wash over him.“I don’t have much of an appetite. I’ll take the rest to go. Thank you for the dinner,” he turned to his sister.

“Takumi, wait-” Hinoka said, but Ryoma cut her off as Takumi walked away from the table to request a to-go box.

“Let him go, Hinoka,” Ryoma said, looking at his little brother with an emotion he couldn’t quite describe. “Let him go.” 

 

-

Takumi walled back to his dorm in the dark. The feelings of worthlessness and inferiority consumed him… the anxiety gripped around his throat like a noose. He couldn’t breathe well, and he didn’t know  _ why. Why was he anxious? _

_ Why am I so anxious? Why is everything spinning? Why am I so lonely? So inferior?  _

_ Why was I born?  _

Stumbling into his room, Takumi grabbed hold of his chest and began to wheeze and breathe hard, and he didn’t even notice Leo shouting, “Shit!” and kneeling down next to Takumi.

“Takumi. Takumi. Please, are you ok?” his voice sounded very far away. 

“I-I-I…” Takumi stuttered, much like Sakura. 

“Stay here. I’ll get some water. And a blanket.. Oh God. Oh God.” 

Takumi managed to pull himself atop his bed, watching his chest rise and fall with every irregular breath. The room was spinning, his chest hurt so bad…

Leo was back quickly, gently setting down a blanket over the silver haired male, and laying a cool cloth on his head, as Takumi was sweating buckets. 

Still gasping for air, Leo began to softly speak to his roommate. 

“Takumi. Takumi, can you hear me?” 

“L-Leo… H-help…” Takumi croaked.

"Come here. Shh.. It’ll be okay. Deep breaths. Your breaths are too shallow and irregular. Please. Deep breaths. Just like me.” Leo took Takumi’s hand and pressed it against his own chest, and breathed deeply so Takumi could match the example.

Trying to breathe like Leo but failing, Takumi kept gasping for breath and saw everyone he knew flash before his eyes...

He felt like such a failiure to them. Maybe he would always be a failiure. Never accomplishing anything... Being alone for the rest of his life.

_ Hinata. _

_ Laslow. _

_ Corrin. _

_ Kamui. _

_ Mother. _

_ Father. _

_ Ryoma. _

_ Hinoka. _

_ Sakura. _

_ Oboro. _

_ Leo. _

_ Leo. _

_ Leo. _

Takumi could feel his eyes begin to close, until Leo splashed some cold water on his face.

“Nononono. Don’t sleep. Please. No sleeping. Oh God.. I think we need paramedics.” 

_ The paramedics.. No. _

“No!” Takumi gasped out. “No….” 

“Takumi, unless you have an SSRI or something to take, I don’t have any other choice but to call 911. Please…” 

“No.. No...no…” Takumi panted. 

“Takumi…” Leo was almost in tears. “I don’t know what to do… I’m supposed to know everything… And I don’t know how to help you. I’m sorry..” Leo held his head in his hands. “How can I help you? What do I need to do? Please.. Just tell me.” 

Takumi gasped. Seeing Leo, of all people, vulnerable… 

He was human. 

_ Not everyone is a person to be suspicious of. _

Takumi began slowly, but surely, trying to match Leo’s like earlier. Gasping and panting, he slowly decreased his heart rate and got his breathing under control. After a few minutes, Takumi was taking slow, deep breaths, breathing somewhat normally again. 

“Takumi..?” Leo looked up at Takumi, and the silver haired boy saw the tears running down his cheeks. 

“L….Leo…..” Takumi breathed raspily. 

“Takumi!” Leo rushed over to his side, wiping his tears. “Oh… You’re okay…” 

“Leo..” Takumi said. “T-thank you…” 

Leo looked confused. “I.. I couldn’t help you. I didn’t do anything… I just panicked.” 

Takumi smiled. “You… Did your best.” 

Finally, Takumi’s heart beat was at a normal pace once again, and he could breathe normally. 

And what he knew… Leo had tried to help him. He had seen the blond cry…. He had cried over how he thought he was useless…

_ We aren’t so different,  _ Takumi thought with a smile. 

“H-here,” Leo sniffled. “Um.. Have some water.” he shakily held out a bottle to Takumi, who took it, sat up, and began to take sips. Feeling the true weight that the panic attack took on his energy, he slumped down again, his entire body exhausted. 

“Damn…” Leo said, and brought the covers up on Takumi. 

“Leo,” Takumi could feel himself drifting off, but he had to say it to Leo.  _ He had to. _

“Yes?” 

“Thank you.” 

And those were the last words muttered by the silver haired boy before he passed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, im sick again... So.... I dont know. Hopefully that wont slow down the production rate? I do hope you enjoy this one, it was almost 3000 words, and let me know your critisism in the comments....
> 
> Also, if ya wanna find out what happened between ryoma and kagero, or about how takumi and leo met, id suggest you check out the paralouges that are also on my profile!! 
> 
>  
> 
> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com! 
> 
> Also, if youre interested in a fire emblem related discord...
> 
> https://discord.gg/2mA7r
> 
> You can be the first to find out when im updating since im the admin and i post a lot ;)


	8. Lazy Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo (sort of) takes care of Takumi. Takumi talksto effie and laslow and gets to know them more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god im so sorry i went awol.if you follow my tumblr writerleen, ive had so many obsticles as of late preventing me from writing. I do hope you enjoy this chapter, however! I put character devlopment(tm)

When Takumi came to, the first thing he saw was light streaming through the window. Groaning, he rolled over in his bed to see Leo on the other side of the room, cup of coffee in hand and looking very exhausted.

“Oh..” Leo brightened slightly. “You’re awake. Thank God…” his eyes began to droop, but he picked them up quickly.

“Did you.. Stay up all night?” Takumi sat up in bed, amazed.

“...Yeah.. Had to make sure you were ok. If you had another panic attack, I’d have to call the paramedics.” the blond smiles wearily.

Takumi shudders. “Not them. Never them.”

“Why were you so reluctant for me to call them?” Leo asks, sipping his coffee.

“It… I don’t want to call the paramedics over such little things. And besides… My father…” Takumi trailed off.

“Huh? Your family?”

“...My father would think I was faking it. He’d think I was making it up to get attention. And then my family would think I was faking it, too. I couldn’t bear it…..” Takumi looked away.

Leo sighed. “Takumi…”

“It’s happened before. And I don’t want to do that ever again… Not after the tongue lashing I got from my father. It.. It hurt so much.

“You know, Takumi…” Leo started, but then his voice trailed off in a mumble.

“Huh?”

Leo shook his head. “Nothing. It’s fine.”

Takumi shrugged it off, sighing aloud.

“How about you just stay in today?” Leo said gently. “I can bring you food or whatever you need. That sounds ok? It’s been awhile since I’ve had a lazy Sunday…”

Takumi half smiled. “I guess so.. I as well. I’ll try not to ask for too much.” he lied back in his bed, closing his eyes again.

“Leo, what time is it?” Takumi asked.

“Um… Almost noon,” The blond answered.

 _Perfect,_ Takumi thought to himself. _After I sleep a little more, I’ll get up for some food to eat…. I think I still have some of that chicken Cordon Bleu…_

And that was the last thought he had as he drifted into dreamland.

-

 

_“Takumi!” His siblings were around him, smiling and laughing, patting his back, ruffling his hair, singing their praises. Finally, he was getting the attention..  The praise.. The recognition.. All he had ever wanted._

_Ryoma, patting his head, telling him he was strong._

_Hinoka, grinning, telling him that she was proud of him._

_Sakura, laughing, patting his back, telling him he was worthy….._

_Takumi felt warm and fuzzy, the kind of feeling you got standing under the warm sun. His family, they finally saw him. They finally loved him…_

Finally, _Takumi thought, a big smile on his face._

Finally.

-

Opening his eyes slowly, Takumi felt hot. The sheets on his body felt humid, so he kicked off the blanket. _Much better_ , he thought to himself, looking at the clock. 2:45. Perfect time to eat.

“Hey, Leo? Are you awake?” Takumi turned and saw Leo conked out on his bed, full on snoring.

Takumi chuckled softly to himself, got up, and headed out of the room.

-

Making his way to the kitchen, he saw Effie, Laslow, and the blond haired boy talking. Laslow spotted Takumi and smiled. “How are you doing, Takumi?”

Takumi gave a small smile. “I’m fine. How are you, Effie, and… Uh..”

“Odin Dark is my name!” the blond boy said, smirking. He had a weird pose with his right arm, where he held it out in front of him.

“Uh.. Nice to meet you,” Takumi went to shake the outstretched hand, but was met with a shriek and Odin pulling back his arm.

“NO! No one must touch the Dark Hand… The consequences will be far too great! Only the chosen ones will be allowed to touch this arm!”

“Uh….” Takumi pulled back his arm, and glanced at Laslow. A sheepish smile was on his face, and he shrugged, like _what can you do?_

“No one must ever touch this hand…” Odin walked away, mumbling while holding his right arm.

Once he was gone, Takumi turned to Laslow. “What in the hell was that?”

“Oh, please don’t mind him… He’s always been so dramatic and over-the-top. He makes a great theater major….” Laslow sighed. “We’re close friends.. We come from a hometown far in the south, one named Ylisse. It was so nice and peaceful…” Laslow looked wistful. “I miss home a lot sometimes.”

Effie piped in. “If you miss home so much, then take a trip back there next weekend!”

The grey haired boy shook his head. “I’m afraid that’s not possible… Ylisse is far, far more down south than you realize. The town of Valla may be the heart of this country, but Ylisse is just as grand… That being said, it would take more than 8 hours to get back home… and then another 8 hours to go back to Valla. I can’t afford that…” Laslow looked sad.

“My poor mother.. She’s always been cheering me on. And I can barely see her… She worries so much.” Laslow hung his head. “Forget it.. All this talk is making me quite upset. I’ll see you later…” Laslow walked away, clearly upset about his mother… His hometown…

Takumi had had the privilege of living in Valla his entire life, always being able to stop by his parents’ house since they were only an hour or 2 away. But Laslow…

He barely got to see his own mother…

Effie sighed. “I wish there was something we could do to help…”

Takumi made a mental note to stop by Laslow’s room after he ate.

“Maybe you could go see how he’s doing? I had a bad night and I need to eat something,” Takumi said, opening the freezer door and pulling out a box. “I don’t know how well you know Laslow, but maybe you can comfort him.”

“I suppose… After I get some lunch myself. I’m starving….” She rummaged through the cupboard until she found a box of crackers, and began to eat. Takumi put his chicken in the microwave and punched in a time.

While Takumi waited and Effie ate, he turned to the muscled girl. “What is it you do, Effie?”

She stopped munching. “Excuse me?”

“No, I mean….What is it you’re majoring in? I see you like to do… Lots of bodybuilding.”

To his surprise, Effie let out a quiet giggle. “Yes, I do enjoy working out… half of the reason is for my major, and the other half is to protect my best friend, Elise Astria. We met back in grade school, and we instantly clicked. That moment on… I knew I wanted to protect her…” Effie looked up at the ceiling as she continued to eat. “As for my major, it’s something about wellness and nutrition… I want to be a personal coach.”

“Hm…” Takumi mused as he took in her words. _Elise. Does everyone here love her?_

As she bid Takumi farewell and went on her way, his food finished heating up. He mused as he went back to his room, thinking.

_Seems like everyone loves the youngest. Hana’s been best friends with Sakura for so long… Everyone thinks she’s an adorable ball of sunshine. Whereas, I’m the moody one. The sulky one. The failure…_

He remembered Laslow and how sad he was, and headed to his dorm. Knocking on the door, Laslow opened it, and when he saw it was Takumi, he gave a sad smile.

“Hello, Takumi. What brings you here?” Laslow invited him into the neat, clean dorm, and Takumi sat on a bean bag chair that was on the floor, while Laslow opted for his chair.

“I..I saw how sad you were about your mother. Does she mean that much to you?”

“Yes.. She’s a dancer as well. I learned my first steps from her. My father was a master tactician who had served in the army. He was wonderful and kind.. But not quite as kind as my mother. She saw I was shy, saw I had a potential for dancing… She was so kind, so gentle. She’s done so much for me, and the least I want to do is see her often and make her proud… But I don’t have the gas money. Paying tuition here depletes my savings so much, I nearly have no money left.” the dancer sighed.

“Hmm..” Takumi thought of a solution. “What if we all pitch in some money to help you? It wouldn’t need to be much, right?”

“No, not really. Only 60 dollars, I’d need. It’s quite a lot, though….” Laslow said.  

“It’s no problem. I can lend you some money. I’m not using any of it. Just let me know when you want to go see her. I’ll lend it to you.”

Laslow bowed his head.  “Takumi.. You really don’t have to. We’ve only just met. It's ok..”

“No. I swear. I want to help. Please let me know the next time you want to go see her. I’ll lend you the gas money. Ok, Laslow?” Takumi grinned.

When Laslow brought his head back up, his eyes were wet with tears. “I won’t forget this kindness, Takumi… Thank you..”

Takumi smiled. “It’s ok, Laslow. Now… Please. Smile.”

Laslow wiped his tears and gave a big grin.

"That’s more like it,” Takumi said as he left the room, Laslow with a big, bright smile on his face.

-

 

As he opened his dorm door, he saw Leo, awake, sitting up on his bed. Turning around and giving a halfhearted wave, he yawned. “Something to eat?”

“Yeah. Have one,” Takumi passed the breaded, chicken and ham filled food to Leo.

“Oh. Cordon Bleu. I haven’t had that in a long time… Thank you.” Leo bit into it and smiled. His smile was quite warm… “Back when my mother was alive, she’d make this a lot.”

Takumi gulped. He knew he was walking onto shaky ground, but he had to ask. “What happened to her?”

Leo sighed. “When she was going out for a drive, some drunken idiot crashed into her. He survived. She.. Didn’t. She died just before I graduated..” Leo closed his eyes, and Takumi saw a tear slip out.

“I miss her. I miss her so much. She was so good to me… And to the rest of my siblings.” Leo opened his eyes again. “....How and why am I opening up to you so easily?”

Takumi shrugged. “I’m not sure… I’m not the type of person that people open up to.”

Leo took a deep breath. “I suppose I let myself get overwhelmed by my emotions. I did have a dream of her.. Maybe that’s why my heart is aching so much right now.”

Takumi sat on his bed and bit into his food. He wasn’t sure how to process this. Leo had opened up to him, opened up to him about his past, his mother.

Takumi was confused. Why was he opening up? Why was he so vulnerable now? His head hurt a bit. _Leo_ made his head hurt.

He looked over at the blond, who was eating silently and looking out the window, looking.. Sad. Maybe he was still thinking about his mother.

God, why did Takumi have to make Cordon Bleu? All it did was bring up painful memories. Leo had already had a dream about his mother.

 _I’m such an idiot,_ Takumi thought to himself. _No wonder nobody likes me._

After finishing his food, Takumi wiped his hands of the crumbs, pulled over the covers, and closed his eyes.

“Ah, sleeping again? Let me know if you need anything,” Leo said softly.

“Yeah, ok,” Takumi muttered.

Pretty soon, the silver haired boy drifted off to sleep again, but this time, he dreamed of nothing.

 

-

Awakening again, Takumi looked at the time. _9:39._

He had slept for 7 hours?! But at this point, Takumi didn’t care. He rolled over on his other side to see Leo typing away at his laptop. Leo looked at Takumi and softly smiled. “You ok? Need anything?”

“No,” Takumi said, rolling over to the other side. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Leo sighed. “How can you still hate me?” he said in a quiet voice.

Takumi rolled over again. “Huh?”

“Never mind. Nothing,” Leo waved his hand. “Just thinking aloud.”

Takumi shrugged and rolled over again, closing his eyes. He had slept so much today, yet he still felt so tired. Snuggling into his bed sheets, he felt warm and.. Hugged.

 

-

A noise woke him. That’s all Takumi could remember.

A soft, quiet crying filled their dorm, and Takumi perked his ears to listen to the sound of….

Leo. Leo was crying.

It was quiet, discreet, but had lots of sniffles and heavy breathing.

“Mother…” Leo whimpered.

The word hit Takumi straight in the chest. Leo’s mother’s death was so hard on him…

Did he cry like this every night? Maybe Takumi had been in too deep of a sleep to notice the blond crying, to notice his pain and sorrow being let out in the night. Where no one could see, no one could judge.

Takumi didn’t know why, but he felt such pity for Leo. The way he lost his mother.. The way he cried… how much he missed her.

Leo was human.

He was someone capable of smiling and laughing, capable of kindness and compassion, capable of grieving and crying.

Takumi decided right then he’d try to be less of a douche to Leo. Keyword being   _try._ The minute Leo was his cocky, arrogant self, Takumi would abandon his plans and be hostile once again.

 _Give him a chance. One chance,_ Takumi thought as he drifted off again.

 

  
_You better not screw this up, Leo Astria._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you thought in the comments and how i can improve!


	9. Mother; Interactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ehhh im lazy.

The morning came quickly.

When his alarm went off, Takumi felt like he had slept for 5 minutes. Groaning and pushing his bangs out of his face, he turned and saw Leo, already awake, sitting up in his bed.

“Oh. You’re awake…” Takumi mumbled sleepily, rubbing his face. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Takumi,” Leo said, with a hint of confusion in his voice.

“Sleep ok?” Takumi tried to sound nonchalant, but really, the anxiety was making his body quiver slightly, and he could see the tremble in his hands.

“Yeah,” Leo said again, but this time quirked up an eyebrow.

Takumi dragged himself out of bed and stretched, feeling the cracks of his joints wake him up.

“Well.. I’m gonna go shower,” Takumi said.

“Okay, then.” Leo said, clacking away in his laptop.

Takumi grabbed his hoodie and towel and left the room.

_Well that wasn’t… Unpleasant._

-

After getting ready for school, Takumi decided to take a walk around campus before heading back for breakfast. Putting his headphones on his head and listening to music as he walked, he thought about Ryoma and his siblings, Saturday...and the panic attack.

The panic attack… He hadn’t had one since last year during final exams. He tended to get especially nervous around that time. The thought of failing any one of them… To Takumi, they were worse than death.

He was brought back to reality when he collided into someone, and fell to the ground.

“Ow…” a female voice groaned. Takumi took off his headphones and extended his hand. “I’m so sorry about that. Please, forgive me,” he said.

After a quick moment, Takumi realized the girl he crashed into was the same girl he had seen Benny walking with om the first day. “We haven’t met, I think. May I ask what your name is?”

“Oh! Thank you for that big strong hand!” the girl giggled, gently taking it and standing up. “My name is Charlotte. Charlotte Lawson. It’s nice to meet you, um…” she cocked her head.

“Um. Takumi Fujisaki. It’s… Nice to meet you too.” Takumi looked down to resist the urge to look at her exposed cleavage.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Charlotte smiled.

“Ah, nowhere in particular. I think I might go visit my sister. She goes here as well.”

“Hee hee. I do hope you have fun seeing her! Now, I should be on my way. I have to go… Fix some stuff in my room. Ta taaaa!” she sang, turning and swinging her hips as she walked away, forcing Takumi to look at her curvaceous figure.

 _I still can’t believe girls wear this sort of thing…_ Today, Charlotte had been wearing a low cut shirt and a short, pleated skirt, with high heels.

At this point, girls just confused him. Not to say he still wasn’t attracted to them….

Takumi shook his head and went on his way to Cheve Hall to see Sakura.

-

“B-big brother! It’s s-so good to see you!” Sakura opened the door and let Takumi in.

“H-how have you been, big brother?” Sakura asked, sitting on her bed.

“Okay. Things are still weird with me and Ryoma. We haven’t spoken. It… never mind,” Takumi shook his head. “How have you been, Sakura? Are you taking your medicine?”

Sakura smiled. “Yes! E-elise reminds me to take it every morning. She’s o-out right now, but she reminded me this morning.  And I-I’m doing just fine… and… by the way. I a-asked mother and father t-to call you tonight. E-expect something from them.”

Takumi sighed. “Sakura, there was no need to do that…”

“B-but it’s not fair! They call m-me and Ryoma and H-Hinoka all the time! And you haven’t gotten a single phone call y-yet…” Sakura fidgeted. “I-I thought it should be f-fair.”

Takumi smiled at Sakura kindness and concern. That was one of the reasons he loved her so much. “Okay, Sakura. I’ll be sure to keep my phone on. And I’ll let you know if they call.”

“G-good.. Oh! Look at the time, class starts soon… I h-have to go, big brother, but can we talk later?” Sakura stood and grabbed her backpack.

“Yeah, of course. I should be heading back to eat soon anyways. I’ll see you later, Sakura-” Takumi turned away, but he was stopped by Sakura’s arms wrapped around his waist.

“I l-love you, big brother!” Sakura said, burying her face into Takumi’s back.

The gray haired boy smiled, turned around, and hugged his little sister back. “I love you too, Sakura. Be safe, okay?”

“O-okay!”

 

-

 

When Takumi got back to his room in Dragonfall Hall, he saw Leo was still in bed, looking at the ceiling.

“Are you ok?” Takumi asked. “Want some breakfast?”

“...No. I’m staying here today. I don’t feel well.” Leo mumbled.

“Something wrong?”

“Now you decide to care?” Leo snapped.

“What?” Takumi tried to act aloof, but inside, his heart felt like it was going to explode.

“Yesterday. You were being so cold and aloof and now all of a sudden you’re being nice to me. What… What?” Leo couldn’t even ask the question. His breathing was fast, and at this point, the blond was just confused.

“Look, Astria… Leo. We should try to get along. I think we have more in common than we originally thought.”

Leo sneered. “I bet your mother is still alive and well. A drunken fool didn’t kill her, did it? And the fool got away with the death of your mother!”

“Leo-”

“We have nothing in common!” The blond yelled. “You don’t know anything! You get to enjoy the love and kindness of your mother while I’m left with _nothing!”_

Takumi took a step back at Leo’s outburst. He really, truly loved his mother… and now she was gone forever. Takumi didn’t know what to say.

But Leo was right, in some respects.

Takumo had a mother who loved him, who was there, who made noodle soup when he was sad or sick. And Leo… He had lost his mother before the point of his life that most mothers would feel extreme pride for… His graduation.

Leo was right. Takumi didn’t know anything… And he couldn’t blame Leo for yelling.

“You’re right. I don’t know anything. I’m sorry to bother you,” Takumi mumbled, taking his satchel.

Leo’s eyes widened. “Takumi, I… I didn’t mean…”

“I thought I should make an effort to try and get along with you… But… I…” Takumi stopped. _I’m just making this worse for myself._ “My class starts in a bit. I’ll see you later. Feel better,” Takumi opened the door.

“Takumi!” Leo cried, but the silver haired boy closed the door quickly.

_You don’t know anything._

The words echoed in Takumi’s mind long after he went to the kitchen.

-

 

To his surprise, waiting there, near table, was Laslow.

“Hey, Takumi. How goes it?” he smiled.

“I’m ok,” Takumi lied. “How are you?”

“Good. I just called my mother. She seems okay… she wants to come to Valla with my father to see me this weekend.” he looked wistful. “I’m excited to see her….”

“Why so melancholy then?”  Takumi took a slice of bread from the counter and chewed on it.

“I’m nervous. I haven’t yet told her I changed my major to dancing. She might be fine with it… But I suspect my father might not feel the same. He’s a tactician, I told you. He wants me to be in the army, but….” Laslow trailed off, then smiled sadly. “I’m a lover, not a fighter. I wouldn’t be good at it.”

“Hm,” Takumi mused. “If your father accepts you, he’ll want you to follow your dreams. Besides that, I’m not sure what else to say.”

Laslow shook his head. “It’s okay, Takumi. I just need to go to my room and think about how to tell him…”

With that, Laslow left the room, and Takumi felt… Hollow. It was a cloudy day after all, cloudy days tended to make him moody.

Finishing his slice of bread, he headed back to his room, only to hear Leo on the phone.

“Father… When I come home next weekend, do you… Do you think all of us could visit mother’s grave? And we can look at the photo albums with her in it, and-”

“No. It’s been years since she died, Leo. You still haven’t gotten over her?” A gruff voice, presumably, Leo’s father said.

“Father.. I miss her.” Leo said quietly.

“Do you think I care? You’re more childish than Elise. And even she’s accepted the fact that she’s gone. Let it go, Leo. And don’t bother coming home if you’re going to snivel and cry over a dead woman.” There was a click, and Leo hung up.

With a frustrated yell, Takumi heard a loud _boomf._ Probably Leo falling into bed.

The silver haired boy couldn’t believe Leo’s father’s cruelty. So what if she was dead? Leo had every right to grieve. If he was that close to her…

Takumi walked away from the door. It was clear he didn’t want company. He just wanted to be alone. And Takumi could respect that.

But…

Takumi took out his phone and opened the text app. Sending out a quick message to.his mother…

_I love you._

-

 

Takumi managed to pull through the day, focusing on the material they were teaching.

To his surprise, during lunch, Kamui sat down next to him. “Is it ok if I sit here?” she asked.

Takumi looked at the girl. “Sure,” he shrugged. He usually ate alone, but a change of pace might be what he needed.

“So, how’s your classes going?”

“Okay,” Takumi answered simply.

 

Kamui didn’t say anything for a few minutes, instead, picking at her food.

Takumi decided he should be the one to ask, then. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Oh… Um.. Not much to tell. I was born in Valla with my brother. My parents, Mikoto and Anankos… they’re together. Um…” Corrin figeted, and Takumi could’ve sworn he saw a blush on her face.

“Well.. Not much to tell, really! We’ve been homeschooled all our lives, so this is the first time my brother and I have ever really gotten to get out of our house. My father was strict with school, so we didn’t have a lot of friends. But there was this one boy next door… His name was Silas. He was so kind to me and Corrin. We used to sneak out whenever my father wasn’t home and play with him. Of course, that led to so many fights about who’d marry him-”

“Wait, Corrin likes boys?” Takumi cocked his head.

“Yeah… it seemed like he _knew._ Like ever since he was a kid, he always fawned over male movie stars and actors. And I’m the straight one, so we just fawned over those actors and movie stars together.” Kamui grinned.

“Corrin is such a great brother. I couldn’t ask for better. But our father didn’t really like the idea of Corrin liking boys at first. He was such a hardass about it… He even….” Kamui shook her head. “Anyways, he’s slowly starting to come around, but because of some horrible things he did to Corrin, my brother just can’t forgive him. It’s weird. My mother was always accepting of my brother but…” Kamui trailed off. “Never mind me. What about you?”

Takumi shrugged. “I’ve had a boring life. Born here. A brother and two sisters. Typical family.”

_One that doesn’t pay attention to me._

“A typical high school experience…”

_Where I thought about killing myself nearly every night._

“Typical relationships…”

_Where I was so lonely I’d sometimes give in to those seedy men under the bridge._

“I’m just normal.”

_And boring._

Kamui smiled. “I guess so. Being normal isn’t so bad either. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I suppose not,” Takumi said.

The two sat in silence until the bell rang. “Oh! Well…” Kamui took her books and stood up. “It was really nice talking to you, Takumi. Can we… Do it again sometime?” Kamui looked down.

“Sure,” Takumi shrugged. “It’s fine by me.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you back at Dragonfall Hall! Bye!” Kamui dashed off with a wave.

Takumi sighed. He still had archeology left… And he was tired of interacting with people. He needed a break. Not that he minded talking to Laslow, Charlotte and Kamui….

People drained him. He couldn’t be around people, even his family, for too long.

So for the first time since senior year of high school, Takumi decided to cut class.

-

 

Opening the door to his room, he saw Leo still on his bed, looking at his laptop.

“Hey,” Takumi said. “What's up?" 

“Don’t you have archeology?” Leo asked.

Takumi could visibly see how worn down Leo was. Dark bags under his eyes, he had a bit of a smell, and his hair was messy and unkempt. There were wrappers of food bars scattered throughout his bed.

“I ditched. I’m not feeling up to more interactions.”

“Heh,” Leo chuckled. “I’d never thought you’d be the type to ditch.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Takumi said.

Leo half smiled. “True.”

The two sat in silence while Takumi changed his clothes.

“So, you want to eat anything? Fruit bars don’t really count as nutrition.”

“Something other than Cordon Bleu. Please.” Leo closed his eyes.

“You got it. I’ve got some pizza singles, you want that?”

“Sure,” Leo said.

 

-

There was no one in the kitchen, to Takumi’s relief. Sighing, he put in two pizza singles into the toaster and sat on the table.

Checking his phone, he saw his mother texted him back.

_I love you too, Takumi. Be safe!_

The silver haired boy smiled. She did care.. She saw him…

The text put a spring in Takumi’s step, and once the food was finished he brought it upstairs to his room, still basking in the warmth of feeling loved.

-

After eating, Takumi did his homework from the classes he went to, and slept. Leo did more clacking on his laptop and slept as well.

Late in the day, he heard his phone ring. Looking at the contact name, his heart skipped a beat.

_Father._

He picked it up quickly and said, “Hello?”

“Ah, Takumi, my boy! How are you?” his father sounded… happy.

“It’s going well, I’m doing great. How about you?”

“Ah, I’m good as well. I just called to check up on you. Keep up the good work, ok?”

Takumi blanched. “Wait…”

“I’ll see you later, Takumi. Goodbye,” his father said, and hung up.

Takumi looked at the call log. _58 seconds_.

He was happy his father called him, but not happy it lasted 58 seconds.

 _Oh well,_ Takumi shrugged. _Beggars can’t be choosers._

-

Going through the rest of his daily motions, Takumi finally settled into bed at 10:30. Leo hadn’t left the room all day, instead sitting on his laptop, but now he lied down, looking at the the desk in front of him.

Just as Takumi drifted off to sleep, Leo asked, “Do you think I’m childish to miss my mother the way I do?”

“What brought that up?” Takumi tried to act like he didn’t know. But he did. _His father…_

 _“_ Just.. Curious. Answer the question and I’ll let you sleep.”

Takumi made a _pfft_ noise. “You’re not childish, Leo. You’re 19. It’s fine,” Takumi rolled over again. “It’s not childish to grieve.

Take as much time as you need to. Cry. Scream. Do whatever makes you feel better, so long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else.”  

There was silence until Leo quietly said, “Thank you.”

And with those words, Takumi turned out the light,  the two drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesnt feel like my best chapter... But let me know what you guys think. I tried ti make takumi have more interactions with characters.
> 
>  
> 
> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com!


	10. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fujisaki family goes home, but something happens....

The next few months breezed by. Takumi did well in his studies, making sure he balanced his frequent naps with doing his homework. 

Leo and him were being civil, not throwing insults at each other, but more… opening up to each other. Slowly but surely. They said nothing too big, but they opened up about the towns they were born in, favorite food, their siblings and what they were like. 

It was a start, to Takumi. Slowly and surely, he came to find himself tolerating Leo. He had a dry sense of humor, something Takumi had been berated about. He also loved his naps and eating, which Takumi could relate to as well.

In fact, they were getting along so well… Takumi saw Leo as a less of an enemy, more of an… Acquaintance. They were finally somewhat getting along. 

At the Halloween party in October, the two opted to stay in their rooms instead of socializing with the others. They somewhat enjoyed the other’s company, sneaking a smirk at one another once in awhile. 

Eventually, they even exchanged numbers.

Then November came, the midterms, and Thanksgiving Break, which promised the students to see their parents and families.

Takumi checked up on Laslow and found out his parents weren’t coming up to Valla. Instead, he was going home for Thanksgiving break, which was a day away.

“I still don’t know what to tell my father,” Laslow had said, fidgeting.

“I’m sure he’ll react well. There’s really no need to worry, Laslow. I’m sure it’ll all be fine,” Takumi reassured, grabbing a fruit bar from Laslow’s stash in his bedroom. 

For the past few months, he came to get to know a lot of people better, one of them being Laslow, one of them being Charlotte, who he saw around campus and waved to. She would wave back, but then get this sour look on her face. Takumi was confused, but didn’t question it further.

Kamui also talked to him once in awhile, seeming nervous every time she spoke to him. They talked about the city of Valla, their majors, their hopes for the future… 

At one point, she had blurted, “C-can I have your number?” 

Takumi grinned, scribbled his cell down on a scrap piece of paper, and handed it to her. She looked very happy and had a blush on her face as she promised him she would text him over Thanksgiving Break, and bid him farewell as she headed back to her room in Dragonfall Hall. 

Besides school, and interacting with Leo and his other friends, he also saw his family as well. Hinoka was making more of an attempt to spend time and pay attention to Takumi, sending him texts every week asking how he was and if he needed anything. That same day, she’d treat him to something- ice cream, french fries, a hot dog, and they would walk around the downtown of Valla. 

Sometimes, on their excursions, they would pass by Keaton from the ice cream parlor, and they would wave hello to him, and occasionally sit down with him to eat their food. And sometimes, with him, would be an orange haired boy named Kaden, who was apparently Keaton’s roommate and boyfriend. The four would sit down together and talk about life. The two boys asked about university life a lot, and Hinoka and Takumi happily answered all their questions. Kaden would mention how he was happy living with Keaton, but their apartment was a mess because the black and white haired boy was a bit of a packrat.

Even with all these new friends, and keeping up with his schoolwork, however, Takumi still felt the anxiety nagging at him. What if they didn't really like him? What if they found out he was a freak that panicked at everything? What if he wasn't good enough? What if he failed?

What if he disappointed everyone around them?

Takumi eventually reconciled with Ryoma, but he could still feel an icy chill whenever they hung out together. Ryoma had mentioned he was getting along well with a boy from his hall, named Xander. They had found an interest in swordplay and fencing, and became fast friends. They frequently hung out together, whether it be actually practicing fencing, swimming, or just going downtown. 

The silver haired boy’s mother made a clear effort to pay attention to her son, sending him “good morning” and “goodnight” texts, sometimes asking him how his day was or if he needed to talk to her about anything. He always turned her down, but he made sure to tell her that he appreciated it. 

And his father….

His father made weekly, brief calls to Takumi, asking him how he was doing, if school was going well, and then would hang up. Takumi was a little disappointed inside that he would be so short with his calls, but then decided it was better than nothing…

Takumi also frequently visited Sakura, sitting in her dorm room and talking to her about school, life, how she was doing. Sometimes, Elise would be in the room, and she would say a cheerful hello to Takumi. At one point, she asked how Leo was doing.

“H-how do you know we’re roommates?” Takumi had asked.

“He’s always talking about some boy named Takumi. He says you’re nice but really quiet. I hope Leo is being nice to you too!” she beamed.

_ Nice, but really quiet. _

Surprisingly, that made Takumi feel warm inside.

But during his latest visit to Sakura, two days before they were to go home for Thanksgiving, she seemed.. Distracted. Like she was lost in the clouds, her head drifting away from her. Takumi would have to call her name several times in order to get her back to Earth. 

“Is everything okay, Sakura?” he asked her once, after she spaced out for so long it took Takumi a couple of minutes to get her back. He put his hand on her shoulder. “You can tell me anything, you know. I won't tell Ryoma, Hinoka, or mom and dad.” 

The pink haired girl shook her head. “N-no! I’m all right, Takumi. T-there’s no need to worry. I-I’m just thinking about seeing Mother a-and Father. It’ll be nice to see them again.” 

Takumi did a lopsided smile. “Yeah. It’ll be really nice.” 

Little did he know..

-

 

The day of the start of Thanksgiving Break, the four siblings packed a backpack filled with a week's worth of clothes into a small car and began to drive home. It was an hour and a half drive home, and Hinoka, in particular, was excited. 

“I can’t wait to see mother and father, can’t you, Sakura?” she turned around from the passenger seat to look at her little sister, who was staring out the window. 

“Hey, Sakura!” Hinoka poked her.

“O-oh! S-sorry big sister, did you say something?” Sakura shook her head.

“I asked if you were excited to see mother and father again?”

“O-oh yes! It’ll be so good to see them!” she replied, then turned back to look at the window and let out a wistful little sigh. 

_ What’s going on with her? _ Takumi wondered, but ignored it as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

He took it out and looked at the screen. A text, from Kamui. 

_ Hey, Takumi! Are you on your way home?  _

Takumi half smiled and unlocked his phone to reply. 

_ yeah. my brother is driving us and my older sister is too happy to see my parents.  _

He sent it and put on his headphones, snuggled down in the seat, and closed his eyes, letting sleep wash over him.

 

-

A sudden jerk on his arm woke him up, along with Sakura’s voice calling, “Big brother! Big brother! Wake up, we’re home!” 

Sluggish, Takumi opened his eyes and stretched, feeling his joints pop into place. 

Opening his side of the door and grabbing his backpack, he walked up to the front door with his siblings, where their parents were waiting, door opened, big, beaming smiles on their face. 

“Welcome home, my children!” His father laughed heartily, arms crossed. “Ryoma, Hinoka, I trust the both of you are keeping up with your studies as well as your sports.” 

“Yes, Father,” Ryoma nodded.

“Yes,” Hinoka echoed.

Their father turned to Takumi. “And you, my little one?” 

“I’m.. I’m just fine, Father,” He mumbled. Talumi didn’t know why, but he thought seeing his father would make him more excited. Instead he felt… Mellow. All his father made him feel was inferior over the years. He knew his father didn’t hate him, per se, but…

If he loved Takumi so much, why would he ignore him all these years? 

After saying hello to their parents, the kids headed inside to put away their belongings in their respective rooms. They were lucky enough to each have their own rooms, although it meant that one would have to room with the other if a relative were to come over, which thankfully, was rare. 

Takumi went into his old bedroom and smiled. Everything was still as he left it when he departed in August. His archery posters hung from the white wall, his bow and quiver sat on his desk, and the papers filled with scribbles were left on his floor. 

He supposed he could clean up a bit, but all he really wanted to do was sleep. Or….

He took our his phone and saw Kamui had texted him back around ten minutes ago.

_ That’s good! Corrin is a little scared to go home, I told you about the boy he was seeing, Niles, right?  _ She had said.

_ niles? what does he look like?  _ Takumi could’ve sworn he’d seen him before…

_ Oh, tanned, an eye patch over one eye, white hair… Kinda lewd.  _

The connection clicked in Takumi’s mind.

_ oh, hes in my archeology class. he seems ok. _

_ Heehee, hopefully my father won’t be too harsh on Corrin. I worry about him…. _

_ im sure things will go well, _ Takumi typed, before letting loose a big yawn.  _ im gonna go nap, i feel really tired. _

She replied quickly.  _ Oh, ok! Sleep well! And… Happy Thanksgiving :) _

_ happy thanksgiving to you too, kamui. _

Shutting off his phone, he threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes.

Sleep came easily. 

 

-

When Takumi woke up, he saw it was nighttime. A heavenly aroma came from the first floor, one that made Takumi’s stomach growl. He got out of bed and decided to investigate, yawning as he bounded down.

What he found was his siblings cooking, laughing and talking with each other, and he instantly felt left out. His heart plunged into his stomach and he turned and tried to leave quietly, but…

“B-big brother!” 

Takumi turned around to see his siblings smile up at him. “Come.. Come downstairs, big brother!” Sakura waved. 

Takumi sighed inwardly and went down to join his siblings. He mulled around the table, sitting there and fooling around with his phone. The anxiety was niggling at him far worse tonight.

“Takumi?” Ryoma called. 

Takumi put his head down on the table and mumbled, “Leave me alone.” 

He couldn’t see it, but the other siblings looked at each other with worry. It was odd for him to be so tired and moody, even moodier than his usual self.

“What should we do?” Hinoka whispered. 

“I.. Um.. I’m not sure. Takumi’s never been this moody before,” Sakura said. 

“Maybe he’s tired from school,” Ryoma said.

Meanwhile, Takumi was still wrestling his anxiety and worry, towards a lot of things. He supposed he had friends now. Laslow, Charlotte, Keaton… Even Leo and him were getting close.

But…

What if it was all in vain? What if he had some crazy breakdown that made him lose all of those wonderful friends? What if they saw that he was nothing more than an anxious perfectionist who saw nothing good in himself? 

Kamui certainly didn’t… She liked Takumi. In fact… She had been spending a lot of time with him the past few weeks. Whether it be grabbing ice cream or helping each other study for classes….

Takumi looked up and shook his head. The anxiety was creeping up again and he didn’t want to be around his siblings in the case where he had another panic attack.

“I.. I’m not hungry. Go ahead and eat without me. Tell mother and father I said goodnight,” the silver haired boy stood up and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket. 

“Takumi… W-wait!” Sakura began to go after him, but Hinoka placed a hand on her shoulder. 

The elder sister sighed and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, Sakura. Let him rest.” 

 

-

Climbing onto his bed in the dark, Takumi felt himself drowning in his own anxiety.

It was EXACTLY like high school. Laying on his bed, having an existential crisis instead of studying or doing homework. He always looked at the ceiling in the dark, wanting to die. Feeling like a failure.

The thought hit him in the very gut, and suddenly, Takumi couldn’t breathe. 

He wheezed and his body curled, struggling to breathe in air. He continued to gasp for air, feeling the very weight on his shoulders.

_ I’ll never be normal. _

_ I’ll never amount to anything. _

_ My family hates me. My siblings hate me.They only tolerate me. No one loves me. No one cares. I’ll never be anything. Help. Help. Help. Save me. Kill me. _

_ I want to be dead. _

The racing thoughts matched Takumi’s racing heart, and he unknowingly rolled off his bed, slamming chest first on the floor, right in front of his phone.

His phone…

Leo! He had Leo’s number! He could call him, because he knew Keaton was out with Kaden, and Kamui was hanging out with her mother. 

The silver haired boy reached for his phone, and grabbing it with shaky hands, it took several attempts before he unlocked it. It had incredibly low battery, but Takumi hoped it would hold out through his call. He went to his call log, but before he could dial Leo, the phone died.

_ Damnit, damnit, damnit!!!  _

This sent him into further panic, and now his vision was distorted, he could only see the shadows of people circling him, laughing at him. They came closer and closer and Takumi begged his mind to  _ stop the torture. Please please please stop this. _

_ Let me die. Let me die. _

His heartbeat was faster than ever, and he held his head and let out a scream.

_ Damn. They probably heard. I… I have to… _

Takumi began to claw deeply into his skin, breathing shakily and heavily. This was the only way he could atone. He was a mistake, a useless, worthless failure. This was the only way he could make up for it. 

_ I never should have been born, _ he thought as he dragged his fingernails hard against his skin. 

He lied down on the hardwood floor and closed his eyes.

_ Maybe I’ll die here,  _ he thought, his heart pounding away.  _ Maybe I’ll close my eyes and have a heart attack and die. _

And the boy closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMM
> 
> A CLIFFHANGER
> 
>  
> 
> wowie
> 
> my writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com! 
> 
> Let me know what you would like to see in the future chapters of valla u!


	11. Hospital; Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a warning for prostitution in this chapter.
> 
> EDIT 12/6: I edited the beginning of this chapter. It didn't feel right to me, the way I wrote it. After some people asked me and talked to me about it, i made edits to it so it'd be less graphic.

_He felt nothing. He saw nothing. He_ was _nothing._

_“Come back soon, mmkay?” the gruff voice said, sounding far away._

_A shove came to his back and Takumi heard a door slam, the slam that brought him back to reality._

_Fuck._

 

-

Takumi very narrowly opened his eyes, and he saw a doctor and his father speaking.

He could only make out the faintest of the doctor's words, but what he heard surprised him..

“Panic attack… trauma… Anxiety disorder…”  

And his father yelling back at the doctor.

He heard none of the words his father said, or the doctors, because he slipped his eyes closed and fell into the dreamworld again.

 

-

_Again, he went back to them. Even after the shame. The initial pain. The confusion and the welling sadness._

_“Gaah…” Takumi felt a mouth on his length, and then he was forced to bend over. The same process happened again._

_But this time, he was aware all throughout it._

_And it felt good._

_Especially when they hit that particular spot, he sucked in air and his eyes rolled back._

_Eventually, he orgasmed._

 

_-_

 

When he opened his eyes again, he flinched at the bright fluorescent lights, and then looked around the room. His hair was down, and the silver strands fell over his shoulders.

Sakura was the only person there, sleeping on the chair that was in his room.

“Sakura?” Takumi called in a raspy voice.

The girl instantly snapped open her eyes, gasped, and ran out of the room, shouting, “He’s awake! H-he’s awake!!”

_Damn it._

A moment later, his entire family was in the room, sobbing and hugging him.  

Well, Sakura was the only one sobbing.

“Oh, Takumi…” Hinoka held her little brother close. “We were all so scared!”

“Wh… What happened…?” Takumi mumbled.

“Ryoma found you on the floor, passed out. The doctors say you were really close to having your heart go into shock. Something like that. I wasn’t really paying attention...” she wiped her face.

“The stress your heart was under….” Ryoma spoke up. “It could’ve killed you.”

“Wh-what happened, big brother? What put so much stress under you?” Sakura sniffled.

Takumi looked around. His parents weren’t there, probably went to eat or go to the restroom.

Takumi sighed at what he was about to say. “I had another panic attack.”

His siblings looked at each other. Back in the past, when these would happen frequently, but not of this severe caliber, they almost didn’t believe him. Sakura, the poor child, did. She did everything she could to help. Making soothing herbs, talking to her brother frequently, trying to get everyone to understand.

But it didn’t work. Not quite.

Hinoka breathed a deep sigh. “Takumi.. What’s it like when you have these panic attacks?”

Talumi thought for a minute. “Like everything doesn’t matter. What I’m panicking about matters. It takes up the entire space of my brain and it nags me. I can’t move, I hyperventilate… Sometimes I see things. I try to protect myself by curling into a little ball… but when I open my eyes I… I still see everything I was panicking about. Like shadows. They’re looming over me… And I can’t stop them. I’m powerless.”

There was a few minutes of silence as the siblings took in Takumi’s words.

“Well… Takumi. Tell us. What can we do to help you?” Ryoma asked.

_I want to be seen. I want to be heard. Stop ignoring me. Stop invalidating me. Please. Understand how I feel. Please see me. Please._

Takumi chuckled. “Well, right now, I could go for some junk food.”

“Heh, I thought you might say that…” Hinoka pulled off the small backpack from her back. “I have cheese balls.”

The smell filled the room as Hinoka opened the small container. Takumi’s mouth watered. He hadn’t had these in _months_ ….

Takumi snatched a handful and scarfed it down. Everyone looked at him and laughed.

Soon, they were all eating orange cheese puffs out of little paper cups given to them by a nurse. As they munched, Ryoma looked at Takumi. “We’ll do your best to help you, Takumi. Know that.”

“Yeah, what he said,” Hinoka said, mouth full. “We want to help you.”

“M-maybe I can try those c-calming herbs again? And do some y-yoga?” Sakura fidgeted.

Takumi’s heart swelled. His siblings. They did care… or at least, they were playing the part.

There was one person he never doubted, Sakura. Takumi knew her intentions were pure and good….

But did Ryoma and Hinoka feel the same?

 

-

A few hours later, after a number of tests, a declaration that nothing was wrong... Takumi was discharged from the hospital.

However, the doctor recommended him to see a therapist. Takumi knew it wouldn’t happen, he never had the guts to open his heart out to anyone, for anything.

It was around midnight, the moon hanging high over the sky.

The drive home was silent, and Takumi felt so drained that he started to fall asleep again.

 

_-_

 

_He kept coming back. Again, and again, and again._

_Whenever he felt lonely._

_Whenever he felt lost._

_Whenever he was ignored._

_The sex rarely pleased him, he only focused on the attention he was getting…_

_But mostly, he dissociated. Never remembering what happened, only the words, the slightly degrading ones, the sensation of sex…_

_It never made him truly happy._

_This went throughout nearly all of senior year…._

_-_

“We’re home.”

Takumi’s eyes snapped open. The siblings were next to him, looking at him. His mother had a worried look on his face, and his father had… Some unreadable emotion on his.

Everyone got out of the car in silence and headed inside to their own rooms. Takumi lied down on his bed and tried to clear his mind when his phone buzzed.

It was from Leo.

_I don’t know why, but I have this feeling something happened. Are you okay?_

Takumi blinked at the screen, and smiled.

_Hey, Leo. I’m okay. Thanks for caring._

He sent it, turned off his phone, and dove under the covers, feeling warm and hugged.

 

-

 

Thanksgiving.

Takumi didn’t really know what he was thankful for, he supposed he was thankful his slightly reckless nature hadn’t gotten him killed yet.

He opted to stay in bed most of the day,taking frequent naps, and nobody objected to it. However, he was checked up on sometimes, either by Ryoma, who smiled softly, Hinoka, who came in and gave him a tight hug, or Sakura, who always had water and something light for Takumi to eat, and sat down and talked to him until he yawned and fell asleep again.

Finally, around five pm, he was gently woken up by Ryoma, who told him dinner was ready.  


After saying a blessing to the god Naga, they dove in. Takumi took a large helping of fried rice and turkey and ate.

“Takumi,” his father suddenly said.

"Yes?” Takumi said, while pouring soy sauce on his rice.

“Why is it you’re so anxious? Look around. Your siblings are managing life fine. Even Sakura is a shy child, and she seems to be doing better than you.”

Takumi clenched his chopsticks. “For the record, _father,”_ he said, his voice dripping with hate. “I am not them. I’m me.”

“Father…” Ryoma said quietly.

“Your brother has had it so much harder than you, and-”  he was cut off by the children’s mother shooting daggers at him.

“Anyways,” Ikona said, scooping rice off her plate. “How have you been, everyone?”

Takumi zoned out after that, mindlessly eating while thinking….

And he suddenly realized he had a growing hatred for his father.  

Belittling, pushing him aside, comparing his struggles to Ryoma’s. He was tired of it, and tired of his father seeing Ryoma as his only good son.

When his phone buzzed, he didn’t hesitate to take it out and see who it was.

Kamui.

And she sounded frantic.

 

_tttakum i?_

_aare you the rre?_

_mmy dad isss yelling a t corrin and_

_ijii cant tske it_

_pllease iff you can_

_caan you come getmmee? aaand we cann go soemewhere quiet_

Takumi’s heart dropped. He quickly texted her back.

_give me the address and ill be on my way._

Takumi stood up and began to walk away, when his father called after him.

“Takumi! Where do you think you are going?”

“My friend needs me. I have to go get her,” Takumi said, pulling on his shoes.

“No, you’re staying here. This is family time. You can’t leave.”

“But I-”

“No buts!”

“I have to!”

“Why can’t you be more like Ryoma? He’s so obedient!” His father shouted.

Takumi exploded. “She’s important to me. She matters to me! She cares about me, unlike you, you selfish old man!” he grabbed the keys and opened the door. “Bye.”

And with that, he left.

 

-

 

Putting in Kamui’s address, it was only a five minute drive. When he pulled up to her rather big house, he texted her.

_im here._

In a flash, he saw Kamui run out of the house, with tears in her eyes. She quickly opened the passenger door and said, with a shaky voice, “Go.”

“Kamui, what’s going o-”

“I said GO!”

Takumi shrugged to himself and hit the gas pedal,

  
And the two departed, with no idea of where they were going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow  
> this one was a litte short, but i hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com!
> 
> Edit: the niles suggestive skinship is coming soon ;)))


	12. Sunset Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi and Kamui spend some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. >:) 
> 
> You thought i wouldnt write more suffering? YOU THOUGHT WRONG

The two drove in silence. No radio. No chatter.

Passing by the grocery store, the movie theater, the smoke shop and the downtown shops, Takumi took a good look at them. He hadn’t seen them in so long. 

Kamui picked at her chipped gray nail polish while Takumi drove. They had no clue where they were going, and Takumi ended up going around in circles sometimes. 

“Kamui?” he said, gently.

“Hm?” 

“Would you want to…. Go by the lake?” 

Kamui thought for a moment. “Yes.” 

Takumi took a left turn and began to head to Lake Cyrkrensia. Kamui had mentioned that her cousin, Azura, enjoyed going there to sing sometimes, or she would take the twins and they would have a picnic. 

Maybe it would cheer her up if he took Kamui there? 

Then he could find out what happened. 

-

Pulling up to where people called Sunset Drive, a place where you could park your car, maybe have a picnic, while watching kayakers and boaters.

But today, it was cloudy and thundering. A light drizzle settled over the land a few minutes later.

Takumi liked to go there sometimes and sit and think. Particularly after a long winding day back in high school, or when he was angry at the world in middle school.

As the silver haired boy parked the car, he turned to Kamui. “What happened?” 

Kamui took a deep breath. “Corrin came out. Like, as in came out that he was dating Niles. My father was furious. Azura was over, and my aunt and mom fought with my dad, and Corrin was in his room trying not to panic, Azura was trying to calm me down…” she took a deep breath.

“Something inside me… Snapped. I just pushed Azura away and I needed to get out of there. I didn’t even think, I just texted you. I…” 

“Dad’s never been that supportive of Corrin’s bisexuality. He was ok with it in theory, I suppose, as long as Corrin didn’t bring boys home. But he did. Multiple times. It was back in high school, he was rebellious…” Kamui shook her head. “My dad caught them in the act. Well. Almost in the act.” 

“But he still flipped out. He yelled at the boy that he’d charge him with statutory rape, which made no sense at all, while Corrin yelled at our dad. The boy hightailed it out of there… And… it was the first night my dad laid a hand on Corrin violently. Before..  He’d never beat us. He’d always give us a lecture, or ground us, but never, ever hit us. But he did that night.” Kamui took a shuddered breath. 

Takumi nodded. “Then, what happened?” 

“My mom came in, she heard Corrin wailing. She’s supportive of Corrin, she says he can love whoever he wants as long as there’s trust and respect. So she came in, angry at my father. They fought all night while I took Corrin to my room. He slept there, but I could hear the sobs coming from him. I tried my best to comfort him. My dad never laid a hand on Corrin after that, but there’s mistrust and malice between them. He never apologized for beating Corrin. And now..” 

Kamui looked down. Breathing a deep sigh, she said quietly, “And here we are now.” 

Takumi parked the car and turned of the ignition. “I’m glad you called me, actually. My thanksgiving has been less than stellar as well. My father… Constantly compares me to my siblings. Specifically Ryoma. It’s.. Tiring. It makes me feel so inadequate. It’s annoying and just…” he trailed off. “It hurts.” 

Kamui bit her fingernail anxiously. “I wouldn’t have bothered you today, I really wouldn’t have. But Laslow wasn’t picking up no matter how many times I called him, cute jerk-” Kamui realized what she said and turned beet red.

“Wait. Laslow?  _ You like Laslow?”  _ Takumi asked, shocked. 

Kamui turned her head away from the silver haired boy, her own gray hair long and wavy. “W-well… I just…. I think he’s cute. And sweet. And adorable and… Okay,  you got me. I do have a crush on him.” Kamui looked down, still biting her thumbnail.

“But… You’ve been acting so strange around me, I thought you were going to say you liked me!” Takumi laughed, while secretly wishing Kamui  _ did  _ have a crush on him. Just a little.

“I was afraid of telling you. You know Laslow pretty well, I guess I was just afraid, you know?” Kamui finally stopped biting her nail and leaned back in the passenger seat. “But now that I know you’re not gonna tell him, I can breathe easy. Let’s just stay here a while. We can just relax and clear our minds. Maybe I can even take a nap….” Kamui yawned. Reclining her seat, she nestled herself to a comfortable spot, then closed her eyes.

Takumi remembered there being blankets somewhere in the backseat, and grabbed two.of them and covered Kamui with them, who smiled and whispered, “Thank you.” 

Takumi gave a smile, then grabbed his own blanket and turned away. He noticed it was pouring hard now. The water his his windowshield with a rythemetic pounding.

It confused him why he wasn’t more upset about Kamui’s crush on Laslow. Usually he’d be hopping mad, jealous and furious, and he’d pull the silent treatment, but….

He wasn’t mad. Not this time. 

_ Besides,  _ he thinks.  _ It doesn’t matter. Kamui is free to like who she wants.  _

And as he drifted into dream world, a final thought passed through his mind.

  
_ I wonder how Leo is doing. I wonder if he’s okay. _

Takumi didn't see it, but a small strip of the sun's ray shone through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	13. Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo's Thanksgiving is far worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE GODDAMN SUFFERING
> 
> Also note! In this fic i diverged from canon and made Grace the biological mother of all the 4 kids and Katarina the stepmother

Unbeknownst to him, Leo’s Thanksgiving was worse than Takumi’s. 

With a heavy heart, Leo returned home the same day Takumi did, dreading the thought of seeing his father. He hadn’t talked to him since the whole grave incident, and none of his siblings knew.

Mostly, the ride was quiet home. 

When they pulled up to the big home, Elise was the first one out of the car, bouncing up the porch steps with Xander, babbling about how excited she was to see their stepmother and their father.

Leo didn’t think of their stepmother, Katarina, as their mother. Hell, even when his  _ real _ mother was alive, Garon was a sneaky rat, cheating on his mother with Katarina as a mistress.

Leo’s mother died not knowing. 

The thought angered him. But it didn’t surprise him. Garon was a businessman. They always had mistresses. 

His mother, loving, warm, funny, happy, caring… She died. And was replaced by this  _ woman.  _ That woman Leo despised. Not even a _ month  _ passed before his father married Katarina and became their new stepmom. She was nice enough, but  _ she wasn’t Leo’s mom. _

Leo hated her.

But he was the only one. Camilla found a person to go on endless shopping sprees with. Elise found a cool, mature person she could look up to. Xander found a woman who he could sit on the porch with and talk about life, cup os of tea in their hands. Garon found…. Gods know what he found.

And all Leo found was anger and bitterness.

He shoved his hands into his pockets as his stepmother greeted him with a smile. Garon was upstairs doing something, she vaguely said. 

“Welcome home, Leo!” she tried to give him a hug, but he pulled himself away. 

“Hi, Katarina,” he muttered, rushing into the house. It smelled of lemon cleaner and cupcakes. 

“That’s right,” Katarina said, pulling a tray out of the oven. “I made treats!” 

The kids clamored and grabbed one except Leo, who quickly escaped. He silently went to his room, no one noticing. 

His room was exactly the way he left it. Katarina usually cleaned the rooms, but after freshman year, when she broke a framed photo of Leo and his mother, standing on his desk, he threw a huge fit and demanded she never step  _ foot  _ into his room again. 

She complied. 

He had replaced the frame and kept it on the same place, and looked at it. 

Freshman year of high school. Leo looked happy, but there were flecks of nervousness in his eyes. His mother’s sunny smile, eyes shining full of pride for her son. Her arms around his, happy and with no worries.

That was the last photo they took together. 

Stacks of books by his bed, ones that he had pleaded his mother to buy for him when he was a child at the bookstore, and she always indulged him, buying one or two. But his love of fiction books increased and she soon found herself buying 10 or eleven. 

No matter. They were rich anyways. And she never minded.

Leo managed to avoid his family for the rest of the day and most of Thanksgiving. 

On Thanksgiving, Leo mulled around his room reading and listening to music until Katarina called them down for dinner, and he sighed and put on his slippers.

The dinner was mostly quiet, the occasional “Can you pass the macaroni” being said, the occasional clinking of forks and scraping of plates. 

Leo hated it. When his mother was alive, the table would be lively, his mother weaving tales from her brain, Elise clapping happily, Camilla chuckling, and Xander with a happy, genuine smile on his face. 

A few more minutes.

More silence.

A few more minutes.

A clink of a plate. 

“Leo,” Garon said, unexpectedly. 

Leo looked up. 

“Katarina was talking to you.” 

Leo looked at the cursed woman. 

“What,” Leo practically growled. 

Katarina bristled. “I was just asking how school is.”

“ _ You  _ of all people, don’t get to ask me that.” Leo said. 

Katarina looked like she was about to cry, and Garon lost it.

“I’ve had it, you ungrateful worm! Katarina has been treating you like her own since she married me, and look how you’ve treated her. You’ve treated her like she’s a prisoner here. Like she is not allowed to love you! You’re so hung up on Grace, you can’t see the woman who loves you right in front of you!” 

Katarina really was crying now. “All I… All I’ve wanted to do was love you like a mother. I want to  _ be  _ your mother.” 

Something in Leo snapped when she said those words.

He stood up, and looked Katarina dead in her watery brown eyes.

“You are not my mother, nor will you ever be.” 

He pushed back his chair and went to pick up his shoes, and his satchel. “And like it or not, Father, I’m going to go see Mother. See you later. Have fun with your plastic wife.” 

Garon had a furious look on his face, and Xander said, “Leo! Get back here!” 

But he was already out the door.

Unlocking his car that left in the driveway, he got in it and sat there, turned the ignition, and… Broke. He began to wept. How cruel of the Gods to let her die without her knowing how much of a bastard Garon was. How cruel of the Gods to let her die at all. She shouldn’t have died. 

"Wait, Leo! Wait!” 

He looked up and saw Camilla and Elise. Elise, funnily enough, had her snow boots on, and Camilla had a worried look in her eyes. The two were rushing to Leo’s car. 

He turned down the window. “What do you want?” he sniffed.

The two girls looked at each other. “We want to come. We want to see Mom,” Camilla said. 

Leo looked surprised. “But.. You two love Katarina. 

Camilla smiled a sad smile. “We do enjoy Katarina.. But we miss mom as well. You’re not the only one.” 

Leo looked at his sisters. He couldn’t believe it. They did miss her…. 

“Alright,” Leo sniffed. “Get in the car.” 

Elise opted to sit next to Leo in the front, and Camilla in the back. 

“Are we going straight to the gravesite?” Elise asked quietly. 

“No.. First we’re going to the grocery store. We need to pick up some flowers.” Leo began to back out of the driveway and drive off.

“Pink rose,” The sisters said at the same time.

Leo smiled. “You know her better than I thought…” 

“Of course we did, Leo. You’re not the only one who loved her,” Camilla almost snapped, then said, more softly, “We loved her too.” 

Leo shook his head. “You did. And I’m sorry I keep forgetting that.” 

Elise held Leo’s free hand. 

They pulled up to the small store, and got out of the car. Camilla took the umbrella Leo had in his car just in case, and they went inside. 

A woman with long, black hair was standing at the only register open. It was quiet and peaceful. 

The siblings picked out a bloom of pink roses, and went to the checkout. The woman’s nametag read  _ Nyx. _

"Oh, Nyx! It’s been a while.” Leo said.

Nyx looked bored for a second, and then her eyes lit up. “Leo Astria. A pleasure to see you again,” she said cooly. At only 18, she was mature and radiated an aura of calm and coolness. She had received a grant for medical school and was going there. Leo and her were good friends in elementary school. 

“How’s med school?” he asked as she rang up the roses.

“Too easy. 2.95.” she said. 

Camilla gave her 5 dollars. “Keep the change,” she said with a tired smile. 

The receipt printed, she handed it to them, and they were on their way. 

A light drizzle began to cover the land, and the siblings ran quickly to the car.

-

 

The gravesite. More often called Hill of Flowers, had a foggy look to it.

Somberly, the siblings got out of the car and began to walk. Elise had the roses in her hands.

When Leo found her tombstone, tears fell out of his eyes again. 

_ Grace Joy Astria _

_ Beloved Mother, Wife, and Daughter. _

_Gone far too soon_.

 

Setting the roses by her grave, Elise dropped to her knees and began to sob. Camilla kneeled down with her and began to cry as well. 

“We’re sorry, mother,” Camilla said. “We’re sorry.”

The rain became slightly heavier, and the girls continued to cry at her grave, while Leo looked to the heavens, tears and rain pouring down his face with equal measure.

“Mother,” he said aloud. “We love you.” 

He then kneeled down between his sniffling sisters and pulled them into a hug. The gis hugged him back, resting their heads on his shoulder. 

_ I’ll miss you forever, mother.  _

Looking to the heavens again, a different thought entered his mind. 

_ I hope Takumi is doing better than I. _

  
At that moment, Leo didn't see it, because he was saying a short prayer for the Gods to rest his mother's soul, but a ray of the sun hit his mother's tombstone.

 

And he didn't know why, but Leo felt hugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com! I post updates and sometimes do requests!


	14. Cleaning Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long hiatus... this isnt my best chapter, but, yeah....
> 
> also leo steals takumi's journal. :P

In a few short days, Thanksgiving was over.

Leo said a stiff goodbye to Katarina, who looked crestfallen, and Garon, who looked displeased as always, while silently remembering his mother. 

Takumi wasted no time in packing his bags and leaving. With a hasty goodbye to his father but a warm hug to his mother, the Fujisaki and Astria kids left for Valla University again. 

When Takumi got back, he headed to their room, only to see that Leo wasn’t there. He texted Kamui, asking if she was coming back today, and set off to find Leo. 

-

It was a little chilly outside, but one of Leo’s favorite times of the year. He had a mug of hot chocolate with him, and a couple of books his mother had bought for him when she was alive.

His way of remembering her, I suppose. 

He sat under a tree, occasionally looking up to look at the quiet campus. They still had two days before their break was over, but Camilla and Xander agreed that they would leave this morning. Elise was happy to do whatever, and Leo was very relieved. 

He turned the book to the cover and looked inside. This one, his mother had gotten it for his birthday. Leo had begged and begged for it, and Grace presented it as a surprise for him. The words she put on the page after the cover missed his eyes, but now he was desperate to hold on to any of his mother.

He turned the page and looked at it.

_ Leo, have a good 13th birthday. You’re so precious to me. You’ve become someone so great. I knew that 15 hours in labor was worth it.  _

_ I love you! _

_ -Mom _

He was trying his best not to cry again, when he heard a voice.

“Hey, Leo.” 

He looked up to see Takumi, who was standing next to him. “Mind if I sit?” 

“Sure,” Leo scooted over to make room for Takumi on the leaf pile. “How was your Thanksgiving?” 

Takumi shook his head. “Bad. How was yours?” 

“Abysmal.” 

The two boys stared at each other for a silent moment, then began to laugh. A laughter that made you realize you weren’t alone in your suffering, that you had someone to lean on, that you didn’t have to fight alone.

The best kind of laughter. 

“Well,” Takumi grinned, stretching his arms near his (former?) rival. “At least we didn’t suffer alone. In a weird way… It feels nice.”

Leo smiled under his scarf knitted by Katarina as a Christmas present last year, the only thing he ever accepted from Katarina, just to tease her with the possibility that Leo  _ might _ , might be starting to come around. But he didn’t and she stopped knitting things for him.

Besides… it was comfy.

“School starts back tomorrow, yeah….?” Takumi asked, leaning his head against the tree, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. It was a futile effort, as the sudden, bitter cold made him shiver far more than his own body heat managed to warm him up. “Maybe we could head inside? It’s… getting quite cold.”

Leo shrugged. The book was about to make him cry anyhow, it reminded him too much of his mother. “Sure, we can head inside, before your ponytail turns into a popsicle.” he chuckled as Takumi hit him on the arm.

“Ok, Mr. Funny Guy. Let’s go. Do you have the key? Or should I go inside and unlock it for you?” Takumi brushed off the dirt on his pants. 

“I have the key. It’s cool.”

-

 

After an hour of sitting in their (really cold) room, Leo sighed and rolled over in his bed. “I should’ve done laundry before I left. This whole room smells rank.”

Takumi smirked. “You didn’t wash your sheets before you left?”

“No… I saw no need… But now that I look at our room now, it’s…. Kind of a mess.”

Leo was right. The room was  _ trashed _ . Not only did it smell, but clothes were all over the place, as well as energy bars, energy drinks, and a bunch of textbooks on the floor or opened on the twin desks next to each other. 

“You’re… right. We need to clean up a bit. We have another day before school starts up, yeah? Maybe we can space out the cleaning then. Start the heavy stuff today and finish light tomorrow.” 

Leo nodded. “Good idea. Might work well if both of us work hard.”

“Then,” Takumi said, suddenly realizing just how  _ well _ he was getting along with Leo- and feeling  _ very _ alarmed at it, “Shall we start?”

 

-   
  


After 3 hours, when the sky began to turn pink and the sun was beginning to set, Takumi was working under his bed, and Leo was working on the shelf that the rooms had, and was rearranging the books when he came across a felt, leatherbound book hiding in the back of the shelf. He turned the first page open and saw the words:

‘ _ Takumi Fujisaki’s journal’. _

Leo’s heart skipped a beat as he hid the journal under his shirt, the cover feeling cool against his pale skin.

_ Takumi’s journal? What? Has he… had it the entire time? Was he logging his days here at Valla U? _

A countless number of thoughts ran through Leo’s head, and he decided to keep the journal. Just to see what it said about him. Then, he’d return it. He would never touch it again. He just  _ had  _ to see what Takumi was saying about him….. If his efforts were reaching him at all. 

 

-

After the cleaning was finally done (they actually managed to get everything but their desks done), when he knew Takumi was sound asleep, he snuck out of the room, and tiptoed down to the bathroom a couple doors down from theirs. 

Once he was in there, the door locked, he opened the journal and began to read….

_ Today is the first day of school. Astria keeps trying to be my friend. I want him to go away. I want him to know I haven’t forgotten. But…. _

_ But he’s being so nice to me. I don’t know what to say. He’s not being an obnoxious snob. I just….. _

The entry cut out there.

Leo turned the pages to find black, thick scribbles over small words. Did Takumi mean to blot them out? Or was… Was he hiding something? 

After a few pages, he got to a new entry.

_ I… I think I’m starting to let go of my hatred for Astria. Leo, rather. We… we have so much in common.  We want to be the best. We push ourselves so hard to be the family favorite… yet, we fail. We constantly want to see ourselves as the best. Maybe.. Maybe then we would get the attention we so crave. But I…. _

The entry cut off again after that.

And then, another entry, after a loose scribble of Corrin on the side, her face omitted. 

_ Corrin…… _ The inscription said. 

As Leo read the next entry, he figured out that this may have been written a couple of months before break. September, perhaps?

_ Corrin comes to see me more and more. I… I don’t get what’s special about me. But my heart says that it loves her. But yet again, it says that about a lot of people, people who are remotely nice to me, I trail behind like a love sick puppy…. _

Abrupt end, again.  _ Can’t he finish these entries?  _ Leo thought to himself, flipping another 3 pages of black scribble and this time…

A messy sketch of Leo’s face. 

He looked good in it, no juvenile devil horns, or boogers, or funny mustache. An honest, true drawing of Leo.

And then, after it, an entry. A hastily scrawled one. 

_ Leo and I are becoming close. I don’t want this, but…. _

_ A part of me, wants.. Wants to bond with him. I don’t get it. Why do I want to be friends with him? _ _   
_ _ Why can’t I hate him anymore? _ _   
_ __ Is it because I’ve let go of the past… Or… is it something mor-

The entry ended there. Leo closed the book, after flipping through to see any more entries. There were none.

-

After sneaking back into their room, Leo lied in his bed and looked at the ceiling. The darkness reminded him of his mother… and how he felt after she died…

Everyone coped with their own way. 

Xander threw himself into studies, rarely spending time with anyone. Camilla threw away the childish things she owned, and became the aura of cool and sophisticated. Elise became an optimistic girl, almost like a child. Leo came into her room one day and saw that she had put back all her stuffed animals and girly things.

Leo flirted with bitterness and entered a parasitic relationship with it. He felt hatred towards Katarina and Garon. He isolated himself for a few months after Grace’s death, his mental health generally declined. But.. Elise finally snapped him out of it. He loved Elise the most, and he didn’t want to see her sad, crying over how bad Leo was getting. So he cleaned his room, went to school, and played tea parties with Elise.

Leo rolled over and sighed. 

“Can’t sleep?” A soft voice said. 

Leo jolted. 

“I can’t either.” It was Takumi, who sighed as well.

_ I can’t hate him anymore. _

“I just…” Leo put his hands up to his face and breathed. “I just want to be alone.”

Silence, then a rustle. Takumi probably rolled over and went to sleep.

And he didn’t know why, but as he drifted..

Leo felt something stir inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll try and update more, im sorry.... I just have school on my mind alot right now.


	15. Panic;Bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >:)
> 
> Moooooore suffering, lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longest valla u chapter so far: 2755 words, 9 pages. please let me know what you think!! feedback and support is so loved by me more than you know!!

Leo found the days zipping by. 

After the cleaning day they had, and another day of free time, school began again. 

Leo had spent his free day with Elise, going downtown and looking at frilly clothes, which she squealed at and bought. She bought a lot of them. A  _ lot. _ Leo helped her with some of her bags, which were mildly heavy, but the happy smile on her face made it all worth it. Eventually, the two sat down and ate lunch together, Leo getting a simple sandwich and Elise getting a bacon cheeseburger with cheese fries. She was rather…. Liberal when it came to choices of her junk food. After their shopping adventure, Leo took her to her dorm building, and she said a cheerful farewell to her brother while skipping away, her bags hitting her legs. 

Leo couldn’t help but smile, his little sister had fun, and in a way, so did he. 

Walking back to Dragonfall Hall that night, Leo wondered if Takumi had left the dorm. When he left, Takumi was buried under the sheets, mumbling something about being tired. Leo was about to insist that they go, but he knew the last thing he needed was  _ that. _ He was probably tired from dealing with his family, and from what Takumi told him, someone in crisis. Leo didn’t question any further, just told Takumi to get some rest and eat, and left.

When Leo opened the door, he saw Takumi still in bed, not having moved an inch. 

“Takumi?” Leo said softly as he took off his shoes and threw them into his closet. “Takumi, it’s late. Come on, you need to eat something,” He said.

“No…” Takumi mumbled, but he didn’t sound… here. 

“Takumi..?” Leo said in a more soft tone.

“No… No….” Takumi kept muttering. “No, no no no no no no.”

“Takumi?”  Leo walked over to his bed and pulled of the sheets, what he saw was Takumi, curled up in the fetal position, his silver  hair sticking to his face from the sweat. His eyes were closed, and Leo deduced he was having a nightmare... 

“Hey,” Leo shook him gently. “Wake up. Geez….” He didn’t know why, but he felt exasperated. Probably from his long day out, he surmised, and sighed.

Takumi’s eyes snapped open, which made Leo yelp. “Gods! Don’t scare me like that, damnit!”

 

Takumi sat up, and he  _ really _ did not look good. His long hair was a mess, billowed in what looked like a pillow around his shoulders, his eyes looked tired and had bags under them, and his body was sweaty, not to mention the faint smell of….cheese?

“Takumi? Are you ok?” Leo looked at him, wide eyed. 

“Nnnngh…” Takumi murmured, then shook his head. “S-sorry, Leo. I just…” He tried to point to his head. “Not well. Not feeling ok. Nggh…” He held his head.

“Takumi, it’s fine. What happened?” Leo grabs a half full water and hands it to his roommate. 

“Tried to take my meds…” Takumi shook his head. “The.. the ones my therapist provided for me.”

“I thought you didn’t see one…”

“No, my…. Fuck.” Takumi inhales sharply, and Leo realized it was a migraine. “Whatever the fuck you call it. The one who prescribes them.”

“Oh, you mean a psychopharmacologist?” Leo sat down on Takumi’s bed.

“Yeah, that. Fuck.” He inhales sharply again. “Sorry, Leo. I really don’t feel like myself right now….” Takumi says. “It’s been awhile since I’ve taken them. They’re for my anxiety…” He explains, closing his eyes. “The side effects came back tenfold. I feel awful right now, but oddly calm…” he sighs, running his shaky hand through his hair. 

Leo takes a moment to  _ really _ look at Takumi. He’s sweaty and disheveled, he looks like he was in a state of  _ panic, panic, panic. _

“Aren’t these things supposed to help you?” Leo spies a bottle at Takumi’s nightstand and looks at it.  _ Celexa,  _ it says. A common brand of anxiety medicine, Leo thinks. 

He looks at the dosage. 10mg. A starting dosage….

“Leo, why are you staring at that…?” 

Leo looks at his roommate. “The side effects… insomnia… cold like symptoms…. Takumi, how are you feeling right now?”

“Tired. Depressed. My nose is stuffy and I keep sweating. I feel all.. Hot. And strange.” Takumi sits in the corner of his bed. “I started taking them while I was on vacation. The day after Thanksgiving, but… nobody knew I went back to see my doctor. They don’t know I’m on the meds again,” Takumi billows his head into his knees. “I just… They’d be angry…

Leo looked over at the small boy. Clearly, he was distressed. But how could he help him…?

“Takumi, I know… I know you don’t want to see a therapist… but… maybe seeing the campus one would help…?” 

“No,” Takumi said immediately, giving Leo dark eyes. “They’ll tell my parents everything. My anxiety, my medicine, how I…” He stopped himself. “It’s a bad idea.”

Leo smiled. “Look, it’s ok. See, you’re an adult. They’re legally not allowed to release anything you say to your parents unless you have plans to shoot up the school or harm yourself. Everything you say to them stays between you two.” 

But really, what Leo was thinking..

_ How he used to what? What did he do back then?  _ But he put it out of his mind quickly, and focused on the shivering, small boy in front of him. 

“When did you last eat? You must be starving.” Leo supposed this would last for a bit, until the side effects went away; abnormal, odd Takumi. 

“Since.. Since 10 am. I haven’t eaten… too tired,” he rolls onto his side.

Leo racks his brain. “Uh… I think there’s some frozen stuff in the freezer. That is, unless Jakob cleared it out during break.” When he had asked, Jakob said he wasn’t going home on break, and gave no further details. Leo paid it no mind. 

“Sure. Anything salty sounds good. Please…” Takumi, once again, had that look of panic in his eyes. 

At that point, Leo began suspecting it was more than the side effects. No side effect could be that drastic and severe…. Was it because of his dream? 

“Okay. I’ll be back, wait here, and try and breathe,” Leo closed the door, and began a mad dash to the kitchen. He couldn’t leave Takumi in there for long. There was a black feeling in his stomach, that something was undoubtedly, inexorably  _ wrong. _

 

-

 

Leo quickly made a dash to the kitchen, where he threw something into the microwave, he didn’t even care, he just  _ had to, had to,make sure Takumi was ok. _ He didn’t realize it, but he had fear. Genuine fear and panic that Takumi was not ok. He wasn’t a doctor by any sense of the word, but he just felt, something inside him, that Takumi wasn’t ok. That something worse was going on, that something awful was going on.

He felt a bit light headed, the black mass in his stomach kept turning, and he felt the worry and anxiety eating away at him. The sense of impending doom looming on him felt inescapable and futile. 

For the first time, Leo Astria felt real and true panic. And he prayed to all the gods that Takumi was ok.

For a moment, he stopped. 

_ Is this how Takumi feels every single day of his life? Is this what having anxiety is like? Is this how it feels? Trapped, alone, fearful? _

When he finished warming up the food, he pushed those thoughts away, and continued to make his way back to the dorm quickly, and when he opened the door….

His worst fear was confirmed. 

Takumi, on the floor, wailing and crying, his entire body shaking as he continued to cry, and breathe heavily, or sutter with his breathing.

Leo tossed the food to his bed, and rushed over to Takumi. “Takumi!” He tried to mask his own fear and panic, but it came through, little chips of it, as he shook the boy gently. “Takumi,  _ breathe. Breathe.  _ It’s ok.”

“I- I- I- I can’t…” Takumi sobbed. “It- it _ hurrrrrrrrrrrts, _ Leo…” He continued to cry. 

“What is it? Is it the meds? Pressure? Your family?”

“I… I…!” Takumi began to breathe harder than before, and Leo was left with no other option.

He picked up his phone, and dialed 911.

“NO!” Takumi wailed. “No, no, no, no, no, no!!”

“I don’t have any other option, Takumi…” Leo whispered, absolute heartbreak in his voice. “I can’t help. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry, Takumi…”

“911, what’s your emergency?” A female, gentle voice comes over the line. 

Leo vaguely recalled it, but he didn’t have the time to think about it. “”H-hi.. My roommate… he’s having a bad panic attack. I-I don’t know what I can do….”

“Is he on an SSRI?” the operator asked. 

“Um..y-yes. H-he said he took it a couple of hours ago. I don’t know if this is some crazy side effect, but… I…”

“What’s your roommate’s name?”

“Takumi. Takumi Fujisaki.” 

“And your name, sir?”

“Leo Asrtria. Look, can you please just send an ambulance? We’re both freaking out here and he needs help.  _ Please. _ ”

Leo supposed his pleading and desperate tone got through to the operator, because a couple of silent seconds later…

“They’ll be there in two to three minutes. In the meantime, keep your roommate safe, don’t let him hurt himself or do anything crazy.”

“Thank you,” Leo breathed. 

A moment of silence. 

“Would you like me to stay with you?” The operator asked tentatively.

“I..I’ll be fine, thank you.” he didn’t know why, but he  _ couldn’t  _ hear that voice anymore. It hurt, to hear it. 

“Ok. Please, be safe,” the operator said, then hung up. 

When he got off the line, turning to Takumi, who was just breathing heavily, and catatonic, at that point. Tears were dribbling out of his eyes steadily, and he refused to talk. 

Leo sat there with him, and made sure he didn’t get up and do anything crazy, until the door knocked steadily. 

“Um…” the voice belonged to Laslow. “The.. the paramedics are outside. They want Takumi…”

A gruff voice spoke next. “Is this the room of Leo Astria and Takumi Fujisaki?”

“Yes,” Leo replied, while Takumi shivered further and muttered “No…” over and over again under his breath, rocking himself, sniffing. 

The door opened, and two people were there, a middle aged man, and a young woman, who had a stretcher.  Leo moved away as they did their work, and eventually picked Takumi up and placed him on the stretcher, where Takumi gave a helpless look at Leo, one that hit him, and then closed his eyes, shivering one last time.

Leo followed the two out of the room, and declared, “I want to keep him company.”

The girl, who had long blond hair tied into pigtails, turned around and looked at Leo. She smiled, then said, “Hop onto the ambulance. But just be careful, don’t mess around with anything.” She turned to another person there, who looked at the two boys in the ambulance. “Let him go. They’re roommates, and he seems concerned.”

The other guy pointed at Takumi. “Did you end up using a sedative?”

The girl smiled. “No, it was fine. He came willingly, I think.” she gets into the back of the ambulance with Leo. “Let’s go! Why are we wasting time?” 

The two men nodded, then rounded the truck to the front. “Ok. We’re heading to Nohr Memorial Hospital, yes?” 

The girl nods. “Yup.” 

They took off, Takumi having seemed to fall asleep, but every now and then, he draws a shuddered breath, then shakes, then falls still. 

“Do you think…?” Leo trailed off, looking at Takumi, then the girl’s jacket. Which had her name on it.

_ Melody. _

“Doesn’t seem like there’s any drugs in his system. You said he was on an SSRI, yeah? Or at least, that’s what the operator said. What does he have?” she cocked her head.

“Anxiety, I believe.” Leo figeted. 

“Ha, yeah, I know that feeling. No worries, we’ll take good care of him.”

“Will… will he have to go to a ward?” Leo asked, his vision becoming blurry. He realized a moment later that they were tears. 

Melody shook her head, her blond pigtails shaking. “Nope, since he doesn’t pose a danger to himself or others, they’ll probably do observation, therapy, and figure out if it’s the side effects from his SSRI.” she looked out the window. “College can be hard, huh?”

“Are you in college?” Leo asked.

She smiled. “Thank the Gods, no. I graduated a year ago. But I know how it feels, it can be stressful and tiring, not to mention overwhelming. I knew a lot of kids who were on medications!” She laughs. “It’s not abnormal nowadays to have something like depression or anxiety. It’s good that it’s being more talked about, but that means higher suicide rates. I became a paramedic to help those people…. Maybe one day I can change a life!” She has a big grin on her face, something that made Leo feel… at ease.

 

Eventually, the vehicle came to a stop, the doors opened, and Takumi was taken out of the ambulance. Leo leaped out of it and followed inside. 

 

The hospital was chilly, which made Leo shiver himself a bit, but he knew that once Takumi got help…

Shortly before entering a couple of doors, Melody stopped him. “That’s as far as we can go. We have to let the doctors help him now…” Leo, understanding, nodded.

They headed back to the waiting room, where Melody put on her jacket. “I wish I could keep you company, Leo, but… I have to go, there’s more people waiting to be helped.” She gives a small smile. “It was nice meeting you. I hope you both will be okay..” Turning around and giving a carefree wave, she departed the hospital and hopped into the ambulance, which soon drove away. 

All Leo could do now was wait.

 

-

 

Sleeping, checking social media, reading e-books, ordering food..

That’s what Leo Astria did from 9 pm until 12 pm, until someone finally came out of the room,and walked over to him.

Quickly locking his phone, he stood up and asked the three words…

“How is he?”

The doctor smiled. “There’s no drugs in his system, we’ve deduced it down to side effects and a panic attack combined. We’ve contacted his doctor to increase his dosage, which he agreed to. We just have a couple more tests to run and then he’ll be released, are you the one taking him back?”

Leo nodded, and before he could stop himself,  _ what was he doing, why did he suddenly care so much, so more, _ the word came out of his mouth.

 

“Yes.”

 

-

 

Takumi was hooked up to several machines, and a heart monitor showed signs that he was still alive. He looked rather grumpy, as his hair was even messier and he didn’t look good.

“Takumi?” Leo said cautiously.

Takumi looked at him with sad eyes. “Thanks for calling them.”

And the strange part was, he didn’t sound sarcastic whatsoever, nor was there traces of anger in his voice.

He just sounded… thankful.

Leo pulled up a chair next to his bed, and looked at Takumi while the latter closed his eyes.

The blond felt.. Immense relief, and then, the twinges of happiness. 

...He didn’t get it, but… 

He was happy Takumi was ok. 

The two sat in silence until the doctor walked in again, smiling, telling Takumi it was time for him to go.

As they were walking out, it finally hit Leo.

That person the operator reminded him so much of?

His mother, with her gentle voice and clear laugh, always kind, to the very end. 

Leo looked up to the sky with a smile.  _May the Gods rest your soul, mother, and let them see what I'm doing._

 

-

 

Flagging a taxi, the two drove home alone in silence, and when they got back to Dragonfall Hall, they were bombarded with the entire residence, which they chose to ignore. They were both too tired, too exhausted. 

Lying on his bed, Takumi began to strip until he was in his boxers, pulled over his sheets, and looked at the ceiling.

“Leo?” He said in a tiny, quiet voice.

“Yeah?” Leo turned his head, and he saw Takumi smiling.

“Thank you.” 

The blond couldn’t help but smile back. “It’s no problem.”

Eventually, after a period of silence, Leo turned out the light, and the two of them headed to sleep.

Leo, however…

...felt the unknown stirring inside him grow stronger. 

And unlike most of his emotions, instead of stomping on it, regressing it...

 

He let it grow stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as of now, we are about a 3rd through valla u! there are more secrets and revelations to come, and i hope you stay tuned for it! its gonna be big and exciting!!!
> 
> my writing blog is writerleen.tumblr.com! there is a major update on there, as well as updates on valla u and other stories! 
> 
> as of now, there are 3 request slots open!!
> 
> this is the q&a chapter! feel free to leave feedback/questions about my work, my dreams/aspirations/future projects! basically, feel free to ask anything, haha, or feel free to tag me in question memes on tumblr or send asks there!  
> ill try my best o get back to you quickly!!!


	16. Finals Season (Little Sisters- Blooming Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AY IM BACK FUCKERS
> 
> these next few chapters will focus on the other students of valla u, including takumi and leo's family!!!

The day after the boys’ cleaning day was uneventful, with Leo staying in the room and reading, while Takumi slept or did pretty much nothing. They didn’t speak about the hospital or Takumi’s medication.

Finally, the day after that, was the day school came back in, December 4nd. Thanksgiving was the final week of November in Valla, and when they came back, it was officially finals season.

Finals ran from the 12th to the 15th. Students had a week and a day to study. During this time, the teachers didn’t teach any new material at all, it was a time for students to make up any work they missed, come in for tutoring, and review their material learned that semester. In all honesty, Valla U made finals a big thing, something that was hard, but really, at that point, the professors really didn’t care, and made the final somewhat easy, with a pinch of difficulty. Still, the freshmen studied to the point of exhaustion, not knowing this tradition, 

Elise and Sakura brewed pot after pot of coffee, and Sakura eventually showed Elise how to make Hokai Nijan Tea, the Fujisaki family special energy tea, and one cup had Elise snapping awake. She laughed and laughed and recited poems, names of flowers, and animals found in the Eastern county of Hoshido, where Sakura and her siblings grew up, while Sakura nodded as she quizzed her.

Elise minored in communications and social study, so she during her first semester at Valla U, she learned all about Hoshidian culture and marveled at the beautiful culture they had. She learned the women there were more demure and reserved, a total opposite of her late mother Grace and Katarina. While Grace  _ was _ a bit more formal, she would still show cleavage and look rather seducing from time to time…

And Katarina… Katarina was the definition of feminine. Lipstick, dresses and skirts, stockings, and makeup, bushels and bushels of it, which Camilla adored. They both liked to look mysterious and seductive, as well as be what Camilla called a ‘tease’.

Sakura was quiet and demure, the ideal Hoshidian woman. Hoshidian women were usually quiet and reserved, Elise learned, not quiet and seductive like Nohrian women. And Vallites? Vallites were a breed of their own. Elise wanted to go out and study them, seeing how they ticked, and how they talked, walked, shopped, their views on most anything. 

She used to think the views of Nohrian and Hoshidian women were true, unbiased, but when she thought about it, she was wrong, really. She had heard about Hoshidian women who were, as Katarina called them, a ‘whore’, and quite promiscuous, and Elise had met a shy, demure girl, who didn’t want to be intimate with her steady boyfriend, until either her marriage bed, or until much, much later. 

So, for her final project, she decided to write a thesis, a thesis on how women shouldn’t divide themselves based on nationality and standards, but how they should come together to share culture and learn new things. 

She supposed her observations and ideas were far fetched, and she wasn’t eve taking Gender Studies, but she wanted to make a difference, to have a voice in something. That class was where she  _ felt _ she could have her voice say something and be heard. Unlike home…

Elise shook her head and continued to speak to Sakura about her project.

Sakura didn’t quite know what she was majoring in yet, but she just took classes to her liking; pottery, art, painting, and writing, as well as literature and math. 

While Elise bounced off the walls, Sakura twisted her pencil in her hand, wondering what she was going to do. 

She was sure, at this point, she was in love.

-

 

Subaki Jijan.

A man from Hoshido Town, a perfectionist, who Sakura had met on the first day, when she dropped her books in Literature study…

-

 

_ Sakura nervously walked into class, her arms shaking. Her first year at Valla U…. she was afraid and confused, and she only hoped she could avoid making a huge fool of herself.  _

_ But alas, luck didn’t exist on this day for poor Sakura Fujisaki. _

_ When she walked into class, her head began to spin and her vision became blurry, and she blacked.  _

_ A minute later, she realized she was stomach first on the floor, her books all over the place, her legs wobbly. _

_ She still didn’t get it today, but if she had to guess, she still was a bit sickly from passing out on moving day, and she had pushed herself too much, worrying. _

_ As she looked around the classroom of 6 to 7 people, she wanted so much to cry, she felt so embarrassed, she wanted to fall deep in a hole and never ever come out. _

_ “I’ve got you.” _

_ She looked up to see a reddish haired boy bend down and begin to pick up her things. Their eyes met, and… _

_ Sakura’s heart jumped as he smiled softly. Though she was incredibly shy and reserved, she couldn’t help but think,  _ “He’s cute…”

_ He helps pick up her books while Sakura gets into a standing position, brushing dirt off her white skirt.  _

_ “I-I’m sorry… p-please forgive me…” She bowed quickly and felt the familiar prickle near the edge of her eyes.  _ No… don’t cry, Sakura.. Don’t cry….

_ The boy, however, smiled again. “Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”  _

_ “N-no, I have to repay you s-somehow…” Sakura stuttered, her heart racing as her hands shook.  _

_ “No, please don’t worry about it. Don’t trouble yourself, um…” he looked lost, and for a moment, a flicker of panic crossed his face.  _

_ “S-S-Sakura! My n-name is Sakura. W-what’s yours?” _

_ He smiled again, all trace of panic leaving his eyes. “Subaki Jijan. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sakura. Please, let me know if you ever need anything.” He hands her her books, and takes his seat.  _

_ - _

 

_ For the rest of the day, Sakura couldn’t get him out of her mind. His hair, his smile…. _

_ Sakura wasn’t one to get crushes. While the rest of her family had dates, or relationships, she preferred to sit in her room, a cup of Yellow Flower tea in her hands, reading a book. _

_ She was the quiet and reserved one. Never did much in high school besides her work, never really went out. She was the one who stayed home on Saturdays and did homework, drank tea, or practice her koto. The perfect Fujisaki girl, in her mother’s eyes.  _

_ But she wanted more.  _

_ She didn’t want to be the perfect maiden, ready to be married away like her grandmother was. She wanted to choose who she got to love, like her mother. She eloped with Sumeragi despite her parents disapproving of it, and she was still happy today. Arranged marriage was very rare in Hoshidian families, but there were still some families who married off their children. Sakura didn’t want to be one of them. She thought she wouldn’t be really attracted to anyone, but here she was, practically falling for a boy she didn’t know well.  _

_..Was this love? _

_ The pink haired girl shook her head.  _ No, no, _ she thought.  _ You need to get to know him more.

_ And that’s what she did. _

_ - _

 

_ For the next 3 months and a half, August to November, before Thanksgiving, she made an effort to sit by Subaki, talk to him, ask for help with the assignments, or generally ask how he was doing. She began to think her efforts wouldn’t pay off after every day of the same thing, or that he had a girlfriend he didn’t mentioned, but that all changed today.  _

_ Today, he asked her to go to lunch with him. Rather bashfully, too, playing with his scarf and blushing as he did. She happily accepted, and the two went to a Japanese lunch place nearby, where they ate ramen and rice balls, and talked about each other.  _

_ Subaki came from a noble family down in Hoshido Town, where his parents worked as business people, so he never got much time to spend with them, but they always strived for their son to be perfect. So, he pushed himself through school, played sports, wrote, did whatever he could. But he had always felt hollow, somehow. The full scholarship to Valla U didn’t shake the emptiness he felt. So he wandered for the summer, trying to find himself, trying to find  _ something  _ to fill the void.  _

_ Sakura found herself drawn to him. Her heartbeat always raced when he smiled, she found herself stuttering more and more.  She was drawn to his imperfections, no matter how hard he pushed himself to be perfect, the imperfections and cracks seeped through, if he talked to the right person.  _

_ And she felt herself, at that moment, her heart yearned to be with him. _

_ - _

Sakura sighed at the memories. She couldn’t help it. Her first crush. 

_ Subaki Jijan. Second year at Valla U.  _

She didn’t care that he was older. It was only by 11 months anyways! She wanted to be with him. She couldn’t help but think of him….

“Heeey! Sakura! You’re staring into space again!” Elise waved her hand and Sakura jumped.

“O-oh! Sorry!” She rearranged herself. 

“What are you all thinking about? You’ve been so spacy this whole evening.” Elsie pouts. “We’re good friends! Roommates! Tell meeee!”

Sakura hesitated, then smiled. Elise was a sweet, caring girl. She always made sure to help Sakura with her medicine, or homework. She could trust her.

“U-um.. I-I’m thinking.. About a boy.”

Elise stared blankly for a minute, then squealed. “Ohmigods! Tell me! Who is it?!”

“P-promise not to tell!”

“I promise! Ultra swear! Now tell meeeeee!” She jumped around and giggled like a baby. 

“S-Subaki Jijan. T-that’s my crush. A second year…” She murmured, but loud enough so Elsie could hear. 

“Ohmigods! Xander knows him, they did a match freshman year of highschool in fencing, until Subaki took up the naginata. He’s soo cute…” Elise giggles. “I can’t believe this! How well do you two know each other? Are you guys gonna date? Are you guys gonna get  _ married?!” _

“S-shhh!” Sakura put her fingers to her lips. “W-we know each other pretty well… We went out for ramen and rice balls t-today. It was.. So nice.” 

“Have you kissed?!”

Sakura blushed, and suddenly thought about kissing Subaki. Those lips… 

“N-no!! Of couse not! We haven’t even held hands!!” She protested, hugging her pillow.

Kissing Subaki….

“Well, we gotta come up with a plan to make him ask you out!” Elise grinned. “Okay…”

So, instead of studying, the girls plotted their plans, which Sakura would execute tomorrow. And surprisingly, it was solid. It had a good chance of working… Mention the fact that before break, Sakura had nowhere to go, hinting that she wanted to go out with him, and hope he took the bait. 

_ Simple enough,  _ Sakura thought, as she reviewed the last of her notes, and went to sleep.

 

_ Please,  _ she prayed before drifting off.  _ Please, don’t let me make an ass of myself. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm taking commissions as of now! check writerleen.tumblr.com for more!!


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